Writer's Block

These past few days saw me unable to articulate my sentiments. On the road going home, as I pass by lights against the quickly darkening sky, many thoughts flood my head. And yet when I am in front of the computer, about to compose a new blog, I find myself spacing out, opting to soothe my wounded pride with my latest album download. 

(This time, it's Rumania Montevideo's MO' BETTER TRACKS. I first discovered RM after hearing "Still for Your Love" from 名探偵コナン. "Still for Your Love" became one of my fave songs of all time, alongside 上木 彩矢's "Summer Memories", both being part of my playlist when I joined the China winter tour of 2008.)

And now, still vulnerable to those fun memories, it hurts so much knowing those moments can no longer be replicated and are now in the past. Still I smile with the thought that at the very least, I was able to break free from my cage-like existence and experience the joy of being with people whom I just met, people who have touched my heart, who renewed my trust in humans.

A few weeks from now, smiling faces and happy laughter shall fill my mind. 

And I hope I'll be able to give justice to this year's wonderful experience and write something interesting about it. I miss my travel buddies I console myself by listening to my fave songs all over again...

Home is Calling

Back from my China trip all exhausted and drained, I surrendered myself to sweet slumber after a quick meal at home.

You know you're truly home when you let your mind and body crash down, trusting that you're surrounded by people who truly matter.

And then memories cascade, of those episodes in your life when you last laughed with all your heart.

Revised Christmas 2012 Wishlist

I made my Christmas wishlist last September and seeing that the things I wished for are far too costly, I am making a new list.

1. Faber Castell watercolor pencils

2. CD albums of Sarah Brightman, Charlotte Church, Libera, and/or Gregorian Chants.

3. GCs to food establishments

4. dark chocolates

5. One Piece manga

6. Doraemon stuffed toy

7. books on art, history, music, travel, and architecture

8. binoculars

9. magnifying glass

10. compass

11. diary with acid-free paper

12. blanket (preferably green or blue)

Goodbye, Multiply

Goodbye, Multiply.

I thought you'd be with me forever. Turns out just like everything else, you have to walk out of my life, choosing to be a marketplace, an agent of capitalism, instead of being a companion to those who are lonely and in search of a listener.

I filled you with rants and raves I shared to you my innermost thoughts--- how I deal with my inner demons, my dreams, fantasies, frustrations... I opened to you my hear, I who have always been alone in this world, found a great listener in you. And now I find myself going back to the same loneliness. To whom shall I write of my rage if not to you? You who have pledged never to divulge secrets.

And so several days ago, I found myself saving every blog entry I have made. I scrambled and raced against time, for these hold my memories and my identities, and shall serve me well in forging my future.

Goodbye, Multiply. You have been a part of me. And now "us" fades into nothingness.