October passed by quite uneventfully with the sole exception of my first solo trip. (I cannot stress that enough, that THAT is I think the highlight of my 2013.)
As regards my self-study, thoughts of giving up crossed my mind. Topics are becoming more difficult and I realized that I haven't fully mastered the previous topics and I was already dangerously flirting with new ones. Bad bad BAD move. How am I to ensure that I can do calculus all on my own without going back to my notes everytime something difficult passes my way? I hate it when I'm like this. On the upside, nothing beats the happiness that comes from solving a complex problem. Euphoria to the highest level when I arrive at the same answer but by means of a different solution.
To counter these negative thoughts, I always go back to my reasons for studying calculus. I'd like to think that I can carve out a theory with my knowledge of it. Plus, I still haven't given up on chaos theory. I still want to understand what the formulae mean in the science books I read about chaos theory and turbulence. For some reason, I believe that I can discover at least one secret of the universe if I were to understand and employ calculus in my philosophical thinking. (Okay that seems far-fetched already...)
Been reading very few books lately because studying Calculus has been eating up most of my time. That and the frequent movie breaks which I badly need to restore sanity and to provide a bit of relaxation.
The end of the month saw me dressing up as Psycho Kiddo (just some weird character I made up so don't bother searching in the net) for our office's mini Halloween trick or treat. So happy to finally know what it feels like to go trick-or-treating. I got lots of candies from friends in the office. (Some I had to coax coz they couldn't understand what I really wanted LOL. Just give this kid what she wants!!!)
Finally feeling stressful with work. Suddenly thinking of shifting jobs. I don't know where but I want the office to be near my place so I can allot more time for studying and reading and writing. Travel time everyday consumes almost 3 hours of my super limited 24 hours a day. I can already see myself resigning soon and going job-hunting again. But I'd rather not risk it. The economy is bad (despite what the newspapers say) and there's still a high unemployment rate and I'm not willing to go back to being a poor helpless kid who has to rely on her parents. I'd like to think that I am independent, more so financially.
As regards my self-study, thoughts of giving up crossed my mind. Topics are becoming more difficult and I realized that I haven't fully mastered the previous topics and I was already dangerously flirting with new ones. Bad bad BAD move. How am I to ensure that I can do calculus all on my own without going back to my notes everytime something difficult passes my way? I hate it when I'm like this. On the upside, nothing beats the happiness that comes from solving a complex problem. Euphoria to the highest level when I arrive at the same answer but by means of a different solution.
To counter these negative thoughts, I always go back to my reasons for studying calculus. I'd like to think that I can carve out a theory with my knowledge of it. Plus, I still haven't given up on chaos theory. I still want to understand what the formulae mean in the science books I read about chaos theory and turbulence. For some reason, I believe that I can discover at least one secret of the universe if I were to understand and employ calculus in my philosophical thinking. (Okay that seems far-fetched already...)
Been reading very few books lately because studying Calculus has been eating up most of my time. That and the frequent movie breaks which I badly need to restore sanity and to provide a bit of relaxation.
The end of the month saw me dressing up as Psycho Kiddo (just some weird character I made up so don't bother searching in the net) for our office's mini Halloween trick or treat. So happy to finally know what it feels like to go trick-or-treating. I got lots of candies from friends in the office. (Some I had to coax coz they couldn't understand what I really wanted LOL. Just give this kid what she wants!!!)
Finally feeling stressful with work. Suddenly thinking of shifting jobs. I don't know where but I want the office to be near my place so I can allot more time for studying and reading and writing. Travel time everyday consumes almost 3 hours of my super limited 24 hours a day. I can already see myself resigning soon and going job-hunting again. But I'd rather not risk it. The economy is bad (despite what the newspapers say) and there's still a high unemployment rate and I'm not willing to go back to being a poor helpless kid who has to rely on her parents. I'd like to think that I am independent, more so financially.
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