On Bathing

While on my way to the airport last week for my HK trip, a few thoughts ran inside my head. First of which how busy I have always been and because of this, I have been neglecting some important aspects in my life.

For instance, I still do not have a decent love life. At this point when suddenly boys ask me out left and right, I have come to realize how my solitude has, yes, made me a strong person, but it also made me so independent I can hardly rely on another person for my happiness.

An officemate once says that one's happiness must come from within and must not depend on other people. I wonder how much weight that thought holds. Inevitably, our relationships cause help create happiness. Just a simple hello or a show of affection from a friend is enough to brighten up one's day. Or how about a distant relative whom you haven't seen in a long time and yet when you see each other it's as if you've grown up together? Things are not as simple as it looks and declaring such a statement is bound to invite endless debates.

On the other hand, what got me thinking also is how little I care for myself. The past months have been stressful with me going anxious for my yaya, getting depressed over a myriad of things--- losing the most important person in my life, feeling helpless and paralyzed at the thought that maybe it's the end... Hopping on the plane as if it were a bus, getting little sleep, being on the road, getting pensive with thoughts flying to a gazillion directions, losing in a world of fantasies and refusing to face the tough reality... There were too many to mention. One can only guess so much what goes on in my mind these days and I wonder if my yaya is happy while she looks down on me from Heaven.

I wonder... Often she shook her head in disbelief as to why I grew up being so irresponsible. She would often laugh at how as a child I took baths twice a day and as an adult I rarely do so. It's funny how, come to think of it, I would skip bath and not care about it. It just seemed so unnecessary and quite bothersome... I'd rather immerse myself in music or in a good book than bathe.

But last month I realize that bathing can have a destressing effect. I am amazed at how relaxed I am feeling clean and refreshed. So lately I have been having urges to buy soap bars, trying new things and just rediscovering the joy of bathing.

Not that I take baths twice a day now. Just that I always look forward to weekend baths where I can spend a longer time in the bathroom because I don't have to think about being tardy for work.