So this will be my last month in a foreign country, my first time outside of my home country for six months. In fact while packing my things late last year when we moved to a new house, I encountered my old employee interviews and assessments and at that time, seeing what I had written made me feel that itch to be abroad again. I wrote in one assessment that I would like to live away from home. I did so last year starting May until December when I rented out a room in a house near my workplace. Then starting January of this year to end of June, I will have completed another six months of living away from home.
It always amazes me how sometimes you pen out your dreams and then forget them afterwards then life makes things fall into place and then suddenly you begin realizing that, shucks, this was what I wanted before! And then you remember how you felt so resolute back then, how determined, but then life happens, diluting the dreams but I guess the heart never forgets. It's as if the heart has made a pact with the universe to get to where it wants to be no matter how long it takes. I guess I must be a very patient person after all.
The people I met here almost always remark about my excessive curiosity which they find both too much and at the same time, cute. They always think I'm a young girl (well, I am young but definitely not a fresh graduate). I get many nicknames here because of that. I am called "carita de bebe" and most of the time, "guapa". Staying for three nights in an AirBNB owned by a Chinese, I got a review from her calling me "非常可爱美女". I was speechless for some time. But then I would opt to treat these as compliments. I am blessed to have youthful looks, unlike most people who look way older than they actually are. But then again, people almost always underestimate my capability to travel because of this. Not that it prevents me from exploring, I just find it sad when they do that.
Six months on almost retirement, six months of much-needed break.... everything has been a worthwhile experience for me. I got to backpack around without rush (although I am always worried about my funds). Six months of being away from my country to test myself and to put myself in a position where I can be far from him. Because this girl needs to move on fast, and there's no better way than to live in a foreign land where you will be more focused on yourself and where you yourself becomes top priority because who else is going to watch out for you?
It only takes six months to test my hypothesis that I can live on my own at this age. Probably not when I am old and sickly, but before I reach that stage in my life, I would love to see many things and to build my own self--- get to know more people, get to explore more cultures and places, get to listen to this world's zeitgeist, or maybe to the small local zeitgeists. This is living life to the fullest. Many will see this as reckless. Many will see this as irresponsible and a waste of time and money. For me it is the best thing yet.
I'm finally moving on.
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