San Juan de Gaztelugatxe

While in Salamanca, I met a Chinese American girl who lives in Bilbao. When I asked what's to see in her province, she recommended San Juan de Gaztelugatxe which is known to be the Dragonstone in the HBO series Game of Thrones. Now, I have only watched until around episode 2 of Season 2 (what a loser!!! But I am already in Book 4...) so I don't really know much about the series settings and such. I cannot call myself a fan although I am really awed at how GRRM weaves the different strands of stories into a grand narrative. Like, wow! It can beat Chinese classics for its number of interesting characters! Or even Eiichiro Oda's One Piece!

So as soon as I arrived in Bilbao, still sleepy from the night bus, I went straight to my hostel, left my backpack there, and headed to Plaza Moyua to wait for the bus that will take me to San Juan de Gaztelugatxe. It was a Saturday and the Bilbao-Bermeo route is out of the question even though this was what the hostel staff suggested to me. No choice but to do the Bilbao-Bakio route which requires hiking of more than 2 km to get to the foot of the famed ermita of San Juan.

It rained intermittently that morning. When we finally arrived in Bakio, there were only five of us doing the hike. The four were two couples. (Life throws me a lot of cruel jokes!) So not really sure if I can do it alone, I invited one couple to hike with me. Of course I had to observe first because I didn't want to be with sissies. Turned out the couple was recently married. They are from Belarus and so I learned a lot about Eastern Europe from the lady who talked to me about the politics, the economy, the difficult life in their country, relationship problems, etc.

I had fun with the two. They told me they were lucky to have been with me because they have been traveling around with no photos together. I offered to take their photos, and in exchange they also did mine. It was a win-win situation. So finally when we reached the island, the sun was shining bright and so I was dead tired hiking back to the bus stop because of the heat. Still it wasn't that bad. I liked the trees and the sea breeze. This is one of my most memorable things in Spain. Perfect environment, nice weather, and good company. 

Me ringing the bell thrice for a wish.  

The view of what you hiked when you finally get near the chapel.

Gernika

Art enthusiasts know Pablo Picasso's masterpiece, the Guernica, which speaks against the bombing of Gernika town by the Nazis as ordered by Franco. I saw the original painting in the Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia in Madrid and, like all other visitors in that gallery, stood in  pensive reflection of how wars bring damage and destruction to civilians. So when I was in Bilbao for my last backpacking trip, I made sure to drop by Gernika town on a Sunday, just in time when some museums grant free entry.

Upon arrival, one can see many stands with information about the sites. In this particular site, I held back tears after reading the story of a girl who was crying because she was so scared to go back to her house and save her two brothers, with one being just a baby.

Surprised to find people queueing outside of this building which turned out to be the town's public library. ON A SUNDAY!

The ceiling of the Assembly House shows a stained glass painting of the oak tree It was made by hand by Vidrieras de Arte S.A. and was completed in 1985. It should be known that the Assembly House and the Tree of Gernika are the living symbols of the Basque People. As a seat of the historical parliament of Bizkaia, this building and the tree became a meeting point of all the territories of Euskal Herria (a.k.a. Basque Country), bringing together cultural and ethnographic traditions.

This is the remains of the old oak tree which was planted in 1700 and which is now protected by structure. A younger oak tree, planted in 1860, can be found not far from this old one. That tree witnessed the 1937 bombing.

A replica of Picasso's famous painting is installed outdoors for public viewing. Across it, one finds a bench on which one can sit to contemplate about peace and conflict resolution.

Gernika is a small town where tourists can do daytrips. Aside from few museums and a church, there is also a park with two big sculptural works installed on the grounds. I visited two museums here, one is free on Sundays and the other you have to pay (Museo Euskal Herria). I like the free one better because of the simulations of the bombing of Gernika in one of the rooms. In the upper floors, one cannot help but think about how shallow people have become for waging war against fellow humans over the pettiest of things. The museum also invites visitors to think about peace and how we can confront those who disrupt peace because of differences. My mind instantly connected the learnings to how to keep healthy relationships. Peacemaking is not just between nations and states. It should also go down to the most basic level, how we deal with the people around us. I thought about how people should learn to respect differences (something I have always believed in since highschool) and to meet halfway when resolving issues. Needless to say, I left with a heavy heart. So from hereon to San Sebastian to Barcelona, while I did try my best to enjoy my adventures, I felt like a huge part of me is missing. I felt hollow inside.

And in Barcelona I thought it might be because I was finally coming to terms with the things that happened to me the past three years. 

畫皮 (I and II)

It was late in December last year when I watched 畫皮 the first movie. I remember being in my rented room near the office then and being depressed. When I watched the movie, I was deeply touched and tears fell in buckets because of many things I remember. While I cry for the betrayed women, I was equally disgusted by men giving in to temptations and by women who snatch men away from their wives/ girlfriends. 

畫皮 I and II pretty much has the same story but told in a different way. In the first movie, the fox spirit (小唯) is a really selfish and malevolent being who seduces a general. This general (王生) saves her from a band of barbarians and happens to already have a wife (佩蓉) who treats the fox spirit (they of course didn't know her true being) as a sister and yet the latter still betrays her all because she wants to get the husband's heart so she can be fully human. Now, she cannot just rip out his heart and eat it. The heart must be surrendered to her willingly.

What is supposed to be a simple story becomes complex when more characters turn up. For instance, there is 小唯's sidekick 小易 who will do anything for his lady love. Then there's 龐勇 who loves 佩 蓉 but eventually loses her to 王生. Despite this, his unconditional love for her will save her. Also, despite the seductions and temptations, 王生 is strong enough to remain loyal to her wife although he listen to her when she tells him that 小唯 is a demon, dismissing her fits as just jealousy. When he told 小唯, "我愛妳，可我已經有了佩蓉了。" I was speechless. Well, Chinese drama and movies often have characters who are neither purely good and purely evil. One even pities 小唯 in the end because it's not her fault she is born a demon and wants to be human. But then, one's aspirations and ambitions must not be such that they cause harm to other people. 小唯 has to eat human hearts to keep her beauty and youth.

畫皮 II is a bit tricky. Based on 小唯 telling 靖公主 about her past, 500 years has passed since the events of 畫皮 I. 小唯 is rescued from her frozen imprisonment by a a bird demon named 雀兒. She tries again to find a human who is willing to give her his heart so she can live as a human and experience the many different things only humans can get from life.

So 小唯 plots a scene wherein she is seen to be chased after by bandits. A knight with golden mask rescues her and it turns out that her rescuer is actually a woman, 靖公主! The princess took her to her fortress which is guarded by her beloved general named 霍心. These two were childhood friends and have fallen in love with each other. While 靖公主 tells 霍心 many times of her feelings, she always gets rejected because 霍心 thinks too much of their different status. 小唯 manipulates the princess to get what she wants, or rather what they both want. She exploits 靖's insecurities for having a scarred face which she got from a bear when she was outdoors on a winter day with 霍心.

I love strong independent women fighters like 靖公主. But then, deep inside sometimes strong independent women are insecure because they are not seen as feminine enough. HMPH! I can very well relate.

小唯 tells 靖公主 a harsh truth ”天下的男人眼睛里只有皮相“

 

The witch doctor and the wolf tribe who seem to speak some sort of Indian language because the doctor addresses the queen as "padme". But padme actually means "lotus" in Sanskrit... the symbol of enlightenment.

小唯 in 靖公主's body (background) because eventually the latter saw she can gain freedom to be with 霍心 using 小唯's form. But before she consumes her first human heart to transition to a demon forever, 霍心 intervenes and blames himself for being so stupid. That part when he confesses his feelings and admits his weakness for 小唯's beauty got me into tears. That part where he slashes his eyes so he can go blind and be freed from enchantment really got me sniffing. (I realize I only consume tissue when I watch movies like these. Ugh!!!) So in the end, I still like 霍心 for staying true to his lady love. And him making love to his sweetheart who's in a different body makes me uncomfortable but at least he does it because he somehow feels that it is his sweetheart he is making love to.  

**************************************

Watching the first movie made me ask, "真正愛妳的人會怎樣愛妳， 怎樣對待妳? 真正愛妳的人會為妳做什麼? " How does a real lover love and treat his/her partner? What can a real lover do for you? It's a difficult question that is explored in the first movie. 龐勇 can easily become a bitter person and leave the two on their own to solve their problems, but time and again he surfaces to remind 王生 that he is a threat to the couple, that he is there in case 王生 decides to betray 佩蓉. 王生  on the other hand, can be seen as a fool for choosing to side with a woman other than his wife and not to believe her. Yet in the end he redeems himself by stabbing 小唯 multiple times before killing his wife and himself.

On another note, I remember a male friend telling me that even though he has a girlfriend, he will still look at other girls. He says that it's when you act on your "desire" that it becomes wrong, but that it is not wrong to admire other girls. I wonder if there ever is a guy who tells that to his girlfriend and is not served a breakup notice.

Another takeaway: Maybe I ought to glam up and be more girly. It really is true that men do not care about good women if they don't make themselves beautiful. Such a shallow world we live in. But oh well, might as well enjoy life and enjoy getting attention from cute boys. LOL. Except it's a catch-22 coz I don't trust people who only sees the physical. Let's dig down deep, shall we???

One More Time, One More Chance

これ以上何を失えば
心は許されるの
どれ程の痛みならば
もういちど君に会える
One more time
季節よ うつろわないで
One more time
ふざけあった 時間よ
くいちがう時はいつも
僕が先に折れたね
わがままな性格が
なおさら愛しくさせた
One more chance
記憶に足を取られて
One more chance
次の場所を選べない
いつでも捜しているよ
どっかに君の姿を
向いのホーム 路地裏の窓
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら
今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことは もう何もない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ

寂しさ紛らすだけなら
誰でもいいはずなのに
星が落ちそうな夜だから
自分をいつわれない
One more time
季節よ うつろわないで
One more time
ふざけあった 時間よ
いつでも捜しているよ
どっかに君の姿を
交差点でも 夢の中でも
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら
今すぐ君に見せたい
新しい朝 これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も

夏の思い出がまわる
ふいに消えた鼓動
いつでも捜しているよ
どっかに君の姿を
明け方の街 桜木町で
こんなとこに来るはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら
今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことは もう何もない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ
いつでも捜しているよ
どっかに君の破片を
旅先の店 新聞の隅
こんなとこにあるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら
今すぐ君に見せたい
新しい朝 これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も
いつでも捜してしまう
どっかに君の笑顔を
急行待ちの 踏切あたり
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
命が繰り返すならば
何度も君のもとへ
欲しいものなど もう何もない
君のほかに大切なものなど

***********************************************************************

When two people who used to be close, who used to share many things, suddenly drift apart, it's a painful thing to see. This song is played at the end of the animé movie "5 cm per Second", a subtle story about regrets for not keeping in touch with the person you love, to the point that it haunts you to the end. In the movie, it is the boy who does not seem to have moved on even after years of non-communication with his childhood sweetheart.

SPOILER:

The ending shows the two, now grown up, meeting across the train railways only to be interrupted by a passing train which, after it has gone away, reveals that only the boy stayed to look on. It should be noted that the girl had already married another man, shown by a ring on her finger. 

So maybe sometimes no matter how much two people love each other, it ends in disaster when one person is always afraid, when one person is always pushing the other away, when one person is always betrayed, hurt, and unappreciated. Or maybe it has always been a one-sided love. Maybe sometimes we are just too unlucky to meet people with evil intentions who will never care for other people's feelings. Maybe this is a punishment to make one realize the pain of being taken for granted after doing such to others. Maybe this is karma coming full circle. Because at one point there was one person who put me first and who loved me unconditionally and who showed me how to properly love someone but I wasn't so protective about it until she was taken away from me. And when my time came to give the same love and care, I only ended up hurt and pushed away. Too many maybe's. The only certain thing is that the pain is real and it looks like it's here to stay for long. :(

Note and reminder to self: Always choose a person who is strong and courageous enough to handle himself, not some quack who does not even have a mind of his own. No matter what happens, let the past stay in the past. Never be with someone who will always choose others over you. Never be with someone whose comfort zone is made up of lies and deceit and manipulations.

Detroit Metal City (2008)

Detroit Metal City is the name of a death metal band that became famous in Japan, at least in the movie of the same name. It tells of the story of a shy and awkward but very talented musician named Soichi Negishi whose cheesy love songs are shunned by people when he performs in the streets. His big break came when he lands as the frontman of DMC as Krauser II. Onstage, he is a very different person, one who sings about raping one's mother and killing one''s father among many other profanities.

Negishi has wanted to quit many times but the band's manager has taken a strong hold on him. She knows what he is capable of and even comments that he is only oblivious to his genius. Meanwhile, Negishi sees an old friend again whom he likes. Yuri Aikawa looks up to Negishi for his "No Music No Dream" motto and even likes him for simply being a nice and gentle person. So just imagine her shock when she learns who Krauser II really is.

Krauser cheering up and encouraging his junior Saji who made it big in the pop industry

Krauser in one of his soliloquies 

Brokenhearted and feeling pretentious for being liked for what he is not, Negishi goes back to his family in the countryside and learns that even his younger brother has become a fan. The brother now sports long hair, talks rudely to their mother, and hasn't been helping around lately. So Negishi shows up as Krauser and lectures his younger brother and the latter sees the wisdom of studying hard and working in the farm. Negishi also has a heart-to-heart talk with his mother and discovers that his mother does not think Krauser is a bad person. On the contrary, she thinks he is great for keeping the dreams of many people alive. As to whether she knows the truth or not is not explicitly shown but then her giving Negishi a long life charm to give to Krauser in case they meet in Tokyo says a lot already.

Poor Krauser walking in the rain... (reminds me a lot of X-Japan's "Endles Rain")

Krauser plays guest in his family's home

 Negishi finally accepts his life mission and hurries back to Tokyo in a showdown with another death metal celebrity named Jack. The manager has always been a fan of him and sees the event as something that will boost the popularity and legitimacy of DMC. Amidst electrical short circuits and explosions in the middle of the showdown, the two fell down. Both still are able to stand up as the audience cheer them up. Aikawa is seen to also partake in shouting "Go to DMC!" Eventually, Jack gives his electric guitar to Krauser. Krauser takes the opportunity to sing his extra cheesy "Raspberry Kiss" much to the dismay of everyone, even his fans who think that it is the "love song from Hell". 

Krauser back to heavy rocking after being scorched by the manager's flying extra accurate cigarette.

***********************************

Key takeaways? Sometimes alter egos exist because what we're good at is different from the stereotype of our nature. Negishi acting as front singer of a death metal is very unthinkable because of his kind nature and his ambition to give hope for people's dreams through his lovey music. Then again, what the people accepted is his dark persona who utters profanities and who seems to encourage rape and murder and other dark stuff. He realized the importance of responsibly handling that influence when he encounters his brother who changed for the worse after becoming a fan and sought to make things right. I think having influence over others is a gift and also a big responsibility. You don't use it to further your interests, but to create a better world.

Dancer in the Dark (2000)

Immigrants will always be very vulnerable in their host countries, and this is clearly the message in Dancer in the Dark.

Selma Jezkova is an immigrant in the US working in the factory. During her free time, she goes to the theater with her friend Kathy and most times we see her rehearsing in a musical. Her life revolves around sounds--- dancing and singing, but above all else, her son Gene. She works real hard and secretly saves even harder so her son can have an eye operation because of a hereditary eye disease. Selma and Gene live in Bill and Linda Houston's property and as we see in the first part of the film, they enjoyed the two's hospitality and care. Bill would take care of Gene while Selma is away and Linda plays the generous neighbor when she gives the mother and son a tin of candies and would hear none of Selma's offer to pay higher rent when the latter learned of the Houston's financial problems.

But ironically, it is this American couple that will tear the mother and son apart when Bill steals Selma's savings to save himself. He also lies to Linda saying that Selma tries to seduce him. When Selma kills Bill upon the latter's insistence after being accidentally shot, she ends up in prison awaiting her death sentence. 

The mystery is that not once did Selma mention Bill's secret about his financial problems and Linda's consumerism in the court No, she just accepted whatever is said to her and even daydreams during the hearing when she hears the sound of the pencil's friction against paper as someone draws her and the courtroom scenario. While she is accused of betrayal, her stubbornness against revealing the whole truth (which only the audience knows) makes her the trustworthy one between her and Bill.

"The defendant not only perpetrated the most callous, well-planned homicide in recent memory. There's also a fundamentally selfish individual who cynically hides behind a handicap. (...) This woman found trust and friendship when she sought refuge in our country and the evidence will show that she has repaid such kindness with betrayal, robbery, and murder inflicted upon the very people who opened their homes and hearts to her. "

It is ironic that Selma whose happiness is for her son and not for herself is seen to be the selfish cynical one whereas, in the narratives (and who knows for sure also in the media) the Americans are portrayed as victims of immigrants' lack of gratitude. And it leads one to speculate that maybe the reason why Selma stayed quiet is because she knows how rotten the system is, that as immigrant, her words do not have the same weight as her host countries citizens, that it is useless to fight since her very position does not afford her equal treatment despite America's oft-proclaimed equality, but discrimination in fact runs high.

The last scene where Selma was executed in the middle of her singing

Moreover, another contrast between Selma and Bill is that we see the pureness in Selma who is known for her love for the performance arts and thus more attuned to humanity, whereas Bill, morally lacking and corrupt, is a police officer about to be promoted. The movie is an intelligent take on the American Dream, one that means different to different people. For Selma it means being able to provide for her son. For the Americans it is to be materially wealthy regardless of morality and we see this even more when Selma is accused as being "a communistic woman" vis a vis the capitalistic Americans. In the eyes of the Americans, being capitalistic is more important than having virtues. It should be noted however that whatever "greatness" America has, it owes to its immigrants because it is the immigrants who work hard, who study hard, and who are behind some of the world's greatest innovations. These are celebrated in the media with emphasis that they are Americans although ethnically they are not. But when these same immigrants commit crimes, the media would prey on them and emphasize their immigrant status. When they desire to "Make America great again", do they subconsciously admit that there is only rottenness and decadence?

First Night in Madrid

I still remember the first time I set foot in Europe. My first stop was Madrid. A day before, I was with A who stayed with me until I checked in in the wee hours of the morning. I don't know why he had to do something like that. I didn't want to assume anything anymore because I've been countless times and I just got tired of guessing what I was to him. Still, I must admit that I was happy when he accompanied me. He gave me three things initially--- a jacket, a journal with leather covers, and a Parker pen with my nickname engraved on it. As I was about to leave, he handed me an 8GB flash drive which looks like a PVC card. It was my first time to see something like that. Looking back, those things really came in handy. I used the jacket for sleeping since my other two jackets are not comfortable for such. The flash drive came in handy whenever I needed to print important stuffs here and also good for exchanging files with people who became my friends here.

I didn't book any hotel on my first night in Madrid, thinking of staying the night at the airport to save money. But in the airport I met two Filipinos and I decided to go with them as I was in dire need of sleeping comfortably on a bed after 20 hours of travel. One of them happened to book AirBNB so we just contacted the landlady to request for two additional beds.

AirBNB room shared with two other Filipinos

The two Filipinos checked out very early the next morning, leaving me alone. I realized that sunrise is at around 9:00 AM! So I decided to make the most of WIFI and searched how to get to my hostel where I would stay for three nights.

my first meal in Madrid: a can of Century tuna and Rebisco crackers for breakfast

The electrical outlet is not compatible with my chargers but good thing I had my power bank.

When the sun was already up, I left the AirBNB. God, did I had a hard time getting all my stuff downstairs because there was no lift! Our bedroom was on the third floor. Ugh! It was just the start of my battles as I would learn later on because the metro near my hostel DOES NOT have a lift and so poor me had to drag all my stuffs up the stairs slowly. And then I got lost trying to look for my hostel in Lavapies' labyrinthine streets. An old lady to whom I asked directions offered to help me with my stuffs but I refused because there I was, half her age and huffing and puffing! It was embarrassing to say the least. I kind of regretted bringing a lot of canned goods and other foodstuff!

Madrid's pebbled streets in Lavapies

 So imagine my joy when I finally got inside my hostel where I rested for a few hours before going out to see what Madrid has to offer. Of course I also took advantage of the WIFI to check out nearby places of interest since I wanted to rest early.

La Santa Iglesia Catedral Metropolitana de Santa María la Real de la Almudena (aka Almudena Church)
This church is the seat of the Archdiocese of Madrid

Inside the Almudena Church's crypt which reminded me of the arches of Cordoba's mezquita.

Palacio Real de Madrid where the King of Spain used to live before transferring to Palacio de Zarzeula.

When I arrived back at the hostel, I quickly became friends with a fellow hostelmate, a traveler from Malaysia. I shared to her a pack of Indomie and we talked about many things. Her family lives in Sabah and she knows the Tausug group saying that some of her distant relatives live in Zamboanga. Later on, a new hostelmate arrived, a girl from Mexico. We hit it off instantly and this Mexican girl and I shared a very special bond especially after she massaged me one night because of my sore muscles probably because of dragging my luggage. I think fondly of her because she took care of washing and drying our clothes. That's my kind of girl, one who is open and not selfish. No wonder we found ourselves roaming the streets of Madrid for the next few days until she sent me off when I decided to go to the south.

To be continued....