Healing Heels?

After a disappointing event last month which led me to reflect on the stupidity of the heart and how reckless I have been in handling my emotions, it suddenly dawned on me to embark on a quest to womanhood. Whereas in the past I was reluctant to embrace my potential to be an adult female and even stubbornly declared that I AM NEVER GOING TO BE AN ADULT, recent events in my life seem to be dropping hints that I should eat my words and embrace the inevitability of growing up.

One of the projects I thought of was to change the way I dress. It is difficult for someone like me who's often commented to be a walking fashion disaster due to my preference for loud colors and eye-catching color combinations. People gasp and laugh at how I dress sometimes but I don't heed them because that's how I dress and nobody should tell me what to wear and what not to. Although yes, I do welcome comments provided they are constructive and not destructive.

Included in the project is to practice wearing heels. I have realized how much I look up to women who wear high heels and can walk effortlessly. Two favorite professors in college always wear a pair of pumps and mini skirt. One of them is around 50 while the other's nearing 30. Both of them are chubby. But whenever I see them in pumps and mini skirt, they look so sexy. It dawned on me that perhaps a pair of heels can lend one a bit of sexiness. Besides in social functions requiring formal wear (and of course heels) more often than not, I find myself an awkward duckling who can't seem to be at ease with walking. Not to mention the many episodes of almost tripping because I simply am not used to wearing heels.

I've read some stuffs on fashion in the newspapers and I've read that wedges are the perfect way to start. I already have one pair and last month, I bought another. This new pair I wore yesterday and it almost murdered my feet, but I did get home alright. People even remarked that I seem to be in pain everytime I take a step. Yes I was. It hurt like hell. And I know I must have looked silly and clumsy in it. But I have to learn. 

The process may be difficult and painful, but I won't stop until I can run in a pair of heels.

(BTW, I do know that maturity is not seen on the clothes we wear nor on how we look on the outside.)