Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Busy Wednesday

So this week's schedule is super hectic again with many revisions to do. Finally was able to submit the long overdue monitoring sheets. I really do not plan to submit them because first and foremost, it's NOT part of my task. I'm already busy as it is and I certainly do not want extra work which are not supposed to be part of my task scope. But apparently the highly capitalistic institution plans to drain the teachers of their energy. Instead of focusing on upgrading academic materials, they want us to focus on clerical work instead, which for me is just too much.

So last night I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to try to finish at least the illustrations. I failed ultimately, being overcome by the need to sleep since I have been sleepless since November of last year. And it is bad since I am also under stress a lot. These days it's hard to escape from pressure and stress. It's been a long time since I enjoyed a good movie. It's been a long time since I felt free from the cares of the world. But this is the path I have chosen and I shall do the best I can to finish this whole madness.

Sometimes it makes me think why on earth am I obsessed with the academe. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it to be subject to stress and debilitating work. But the academe provides an environment for critical thinking. It allows for free movement of ideas. While it surely debilitates the body, it does nourish the mind and the soul. I think this is one reason why despite the many arduous tasks I choose to be part of the academe. It's just that there are times when you feel like a machine always working past bedtime, always guilty of overworking. You have to follow rules. You have to make sure that you submit the requirements on time. It's a mechanical cycle supposed to inculcate in the student the discipline required to survive, but which actually renders him/ her an automaton with no need for social life, with no need for laughter, for the pleasures of life. Such is the fast-paced culture that is now associated with the academe.

So I promise myself to end everything as soon as possible. I just hope that those horoscopes are all wrong. They say that this year I will have an extremely hectic schedule, That I will be very busy. I can feel it now. But I won't let it eat me alive. I'd rather put up a good fight. Because a warrior resides in me. Because I am an empowered thinking individual capable of overcoming the challenges of life. Because I am a passionate lover and student of life.

So busy the past weeks. So busy today. Will probably be busy tomorrow and the day after next. But what the hell. A bright future awaits.

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