25

I just celebrated my Chinese birthday. There's this ugly feeling I am trying to shrug off as I am nearing my 25th birthday. (Damn it, I have no plans yet and less than a week to go!!!)

Now reaching a quarter of a century, I can't believe I made it this far. In some points in my life, thoughts of leaving the world would consume me. This world--- unregenerate, cold, dark, urban jungle, filled with heartless monsters and pathetic creatures, an abysmal hell swallowing innocents bathing in pure light. Happily there still are kindly souls whose littlest display of kindness affects me in such a way that hope springs once again.

Now, I am not much different from what I used to be, almost 5 years ago. I still am the same cynical person who abhors the present world for its materialism and disregard for nature. On the brighter side, I am happier now (relatively happier than before).

For once, I realized the many blessings that came my way. I’m happy to have stayed for more than one year in the same company. That is already a big achievement for me. Despite the difficulties in navigating through ugly office politics, I stayed true to myself and kept my principles intact. I have seen how people can stoop so low to get what they want and I constantly remind myself never to be like them. It gets crazy sometimes to be working with some of them but I’d like to think that I am more professional than I look.

I also learned many important lessons in the workplace. One is that being good doesn’t mean you will be justly rewarded. Sometimes when you’re good, others will seek your flaws and focus on these just to bring you down. I learned to work without being appreciated for what I do. I learned the hard way that one tiny slip up is all it takes to erase all the good things you have done from people’s memory. Despite this, I continue to work as professionally as I can, trying to ignore the negative vibes in the office. I learned to be more patient with people, to be civil to them despite knowing that they talk shit behind your back. I learned to control my emotions, to be objective and not to be sensitive to criticisms (since most criticisms thrown my way are a result of misunderstanding anyway).

The very gist, is that sometimes it’s one’s attitude and outlook that must be changed. I don’t have any control over what people should feel or do. I can’t change the world with a snap of my fingers. But I can show them what an honorable person is. I have my pains, my sorrows, my fears… I am human after all. But it will be my attitude to the pressures of life that will separate me from other people. Let’s make this world a better place one small step at a time by simply being nice, by simply being less of a burden to the world.