Dueles

Lately been listening to Latin American songs and top of my list is Jesse and Joy as always. This song, "Dueles" I can relate to a lot especially lately when I have been having dreams of my dearest yaya and my ex, both whom I loved (and still love) but they left anyway. My yaya passed away two years ago. The ex just decided he doesn't want me in his life and doesn't see any good in me anymore. The same with me after all the lies and half-truths, the disrespect, and the eventual loss of affection. But lately I cry more because in moments of loneliness I miss my yaya, I miss her goodness, her silent strength, and most of all, her love for me.

Cuando estabas junto a mi 

Nuestra luz era celestial 
Que más podía pedir 
Encontré la felicidad

Sin aviso 
Nuestro paraíso nos dejo 
Y ahora tu recuerdo 
Me hace sombra al corazón

Hoy se cumple un mes 
Que ya no me ves, te fuiste nada más 
Quisiste renunciar a quererme 
Y como dueles 
Mientras pienso en ti y en lo que perdí 
Quisiera evitar, a verme permitido amarte 
Para perderte y me dueles, como dueles

Los golpes en la piel 
Dejan marca y después se van 
Se van, se van, se van 
Pero me rompiste en dos 
Y no encuentro reparación

Sin aviso 
Nuestro paraíso nos dejo 
Y ahora tu recuerdo 
Me hace sombra al corazón

Hoy se cumple un mes 
Que ya no me ves, te fuiste nada más 
Quisiste renunciar 
A quererme y como dueles

Mientras pienso en ti y en lo que perdí 
Quisiera evitar, haberme permitido amarte 
Para perderte y me dueles, como dueles

Ve a ser libre y a ser feliz 
Ya da lo mismo aquí 
Mi gozo alguien que conocí 
Si aun extraño y el olor del jenosi

Hoy se cumple un mes 
Que ya no me ves, te fuiste nada más 
Quisiste renunciar a quererme 
Y me dueles

Mientras pienso en ti y en lo que perdí 
Quisiera evitar, a verme permitido amarte 
Y no sabes cuanto dueles, dueles, dueles 
Me dueles, como dueles

********************************************************

This week while at an ice cream parlor by the beach, I heard this song playing and something again hurt inside. No matter what I do, I wonder why I can't move on? >.<

And now your memories makes my heart sad...

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.”

A former officemate had always urged me to watch The Shawshank Redemption knowing how much I love to bash institutions. It took me more than five years to do so. I guess this vacation is doing me good because finally I am able to relax and take my time catching up on the things I put in the backseat while I was busy working for private companies and getting undercompensated and unappreciated because of cost-cutting and you know, office politics. Time flies so fast and in two months’ time I will be back to my beloved country.

That office friend sure knows my tastes. The movie doesn’t disappoint. The whole time I was watching, I was put in a rollercoaster ride with different feelings thrown and and with the suspense killing me. Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) is a banker who is wrongly sentenced to life in the Shawshank Prison for murdering his wife and her lover. He just so happens to have passed by the house of the other man with his gun and some evidences pointing to him not to mention that he has a very good motive for the murder. In prison, he is quiet and keeps to himself, and attracts the attention of a group of homosexuals called “The Sisters” who rape him many times. (At this point, I think about the many innocent people languishing in jail for the crimes they do not commit while the real criminals are out in the open without a conscience and without guilt that other people are paying for their evils. Such is the reality of the fucked up justice system and the equally fucked up investigative units.)

What is really admiring in Andy is that despite the many sufferings and hardships, he still is able to hold on to his humanity. He offers his financial services which alters his fate. Helping a guard captain named Byron Hadley gets him protected from the Sisters when, after Andy is almost killed, Bogs is beaten hard and is left crippled and transferred to another ward. The reward he wants for helping Hadley is for his prisonmates who work on the roofings to enjoy buckets of cold beer in summer, a brief but unforgettable feeling of freedom sweeping over the prisoners, as narrated by Red (Morgan Freeman).

Andy with Brook in the prison library which Andy helped to improve knowing that books and knowledge empowers.

Andy is then moved to the prison library where he initiate many changes including asking for funds relentlessly until the state finally accedes to his requests. There he works with Brook Hatlen who eventually is granted parole but realizing he cannot live in the world outside of prison as he “has been institutionalized” as Red would say it, he commits suicide. (I cried on the scene where he seems overwhelmed by how much things have changed as he crosses the street trying not to get hit by cars. Tears fell when he was mocked while working as a bagger in a supermarket. As Red says, inside the prison Brook felt important but in society at large, he is dispensable. Broke my heart big time.) Anyway, Andy’s transfer to the library is just a pretext as the hypocritical warden Samuel Norton wants to make a slave out of him to help him with his “projects” involving prison labor and bribery. It is then that Andy starts his move to launder money to an account of a fictitious man named Randall Stephens.

I cried in this part where Brooks feels trapped in the outside world after spending most of his life inside the prison

Almost twenty years has passed and there is a new inmate named Tommy Williams who eventually learns of Andy’s crime and shares that in one prison he has been to, there was a man who actually murdered Andy’s wife and the lover. Andy requests for another trial from Norton after learning this, with the assurance that Tommy whom he helped educate, will testify to his innocence. But Norton dismisses the request and orders Hadley to kill Tommy, covering the murder as justification for escape attempt. Andy’s patience of twenty years pays off when finally having the opportunity he escapes with Norton’s documents from prison and makes his way to Zihuatanejo, where he plans to spend the rest of his life. He gets the money under the name of Randall Stephens and sends the money laundering books to the newspaper. His revenge finally in motion a la Count of Monte Cristo. Hadley is arrested while Norton commits suicide before the police can get to him.

After many years, Red received parole and struggles to live outside of prison like Brook. In fact he comes to the place where Brook has been and also worked in the supermarket as bagger. Finally tired of it all, he leaves and looks for Andy by first going to the oak tree in Buxton where Andy proposed to his wife. Then he travels to Texas and finally reunites with his friend.

I just feel so relieved that this one ended well. This movie is a must-see to open the eyes of everyone of the struggles of convicts once they go out of prison. I really don’t care about the rich who get locked up, my main concern is for those who are wrongly convicted because the years spent in prison one can no longer get back. I remember Lav Diaz’s “Norte” movie which also has this theme, wherein the educated-turned-madman kills a lady but it is the poor worker who serves jailtime thus missing the time that should have been spent with his family.

Some important quotes I wouldn’t want to forget:

Andy: "The funny thing is, on the outside I was an honest man straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to become a crook." (Andy on realizing how he is being used by Norton for the latter’s illegal activities.)

Andy: "My wife used to say I'm hard man, you know, like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all. I killed her (...) I didn't pull the trigger, but I drove her away. That's why she died because of me, the way I am." (Andy recounts how guilty he is for his wife’s death even though he is not the one who killed her.)

Andy: "You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory." (Andy shares to Red where he wants to retire.)

Red: "Some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is much more drab and empty that they're gone." (on Andy’s escape from prison)

Red: "Terrible thing to live in fear (...) All I want is to be back where things make sense, where I won't be afraid all the time."

***************************************

A warm place with no memory… pretty much what I also desire for myself to forget the past three years full of sadness and unfortunate events. How many poets have wished for the same especially in moments of heartbreak?

给我一杯忘情水， 还我一夜不流泪… (Coz lately I have been missing him so much it hurts and I think of the few times he had been nice and sweet to me although I know that I shouldn’t. He is free to flirt with girls now. I should just stay away because my game is always about loyalty and respect with no room for flirting. We’re just too different in that respect.)

Lars and the Real Girl

What seems to be a silly movie at first turns out to be something that touches one’s heart. The movie is about a super shy man named Lars (Ryan Gosling) who orders a real doll and makes it his girlfriend Bianca, which initially make the people in his town awkward but since they love him they played along with him. This, while Gus (Lars’ big brother) and wife Karin works with a psychiatrist to help cure Lars. It is revealed that the brothers’ past had a big impact on him. Their mother died when they were young and the father withdrew from society. Gus left his younger brother and went off on his own only to come back to town to claim his inheritance. Guilty of this, he aims to helps his brother in whatever way he can as he finally matures and becomes a real man in anticipation of a baby with Karin.

While playing boyfriend to a lifeless doll, his officemate who likes him gets into a relationship with another man but eventually breaks up. It is obvious that Lars also likes this girl by the way he stares at her while she talks to the other guy. It is also curious how he projects her to Bianca and how he "kills" Bianca when he learns that the officemate has broken up with the other guy.

An interesting conversation between Lars and Gus:

Lars: How did you know you were a man?

Gus: You grow up when you decide to do right, what's right for you and what's right for everybody, even when it hurts. Like, you don't jerk people around, you don't cheat on your woman, you take care of your family, you admit when you're wrong or you try to anyways.

It’s not something I would watch again but for posterity’s sake, I am saving above conversation between the brothers on what it is like to be a man. Dear male readers, do take notes because these are very important points. The same is applicable to women because let’s face it, there are also as many irresponsible women out there. The world has become full of weak and cowardly selfish people that it becomes a scary place.

Three Months and Going Strong

More than three months of living away from my beloved country opened my eyes to the harsh realities of the world and when such things happen, you begin to lose faith in humanity. I found some Filipino groups here (not communities as they are very far from the concept of community as source of support) and it breaks my heart to learn that what they say about Filipinos trying to take advantage of fellow Filipinos is actually true. I find this a big disgrace since Filipinos are always known for being warm and hospitable but as it turns out it is exclusively for foreigners. Very few would be happy to help fellow Filipinos, nor can they find peace when they know of other Filipinos' success. This is a far cry from the early overseas Chinese who were able to organize themselves and form associations with the full understanding that in union there is strength and that their cultural survival is very important, as well as the maintenance of ties with the Motherland. Of course the stories abound and such organizations are not without difficulties and not without shameless scrupulous persons who take advantage of immigrants' vulnerability.

I got to know some Filipinos from three main groups. The first is from a group of Filipinos who received scholarships to study here, with whom I have maintained contact. The second is a small group of INC adherents whom I got to know for only a short period of time. The third group is actually not a group but rather scattered Filipinos I met as I continue my journey. I have interacted more with the first group. They are mostly fresh graduates predominantly from DLSU though some graduated from UP, ADMU, and a significant percentage from the Visayas. This group comes from rich families, as they share their stories of having to shoulder their own plane fares to and from PH. Most of the UP students I got to know share experiences which I also observe in other persons in the same group: the rich ones are super liberated and the girls post a lot of sexy bikini photos on their Whatsapp and Facebook. We just laugh it off as something shallow because it is very much clear that they went abroad to find foreign men. White Lovers as we call them. Interestingly, most of the UP students I got to meet are pretty much homebodies like me and we are in the same age group so definitely we do not belong to the latter batches who mostly are rich (Like, do you even see students from poor rural areas in UP? So many things have changed), and prefer going solo when travelling. That just saves a lot of energy. Imagine having to travel with a bunch of annoyingly flirty people who just cannot live without partying. I don't even understand that culture and for me it is repulsive. Why would you pay for something that will make you feel uncomfortable? No thanks. I am happy exploring on my own or simply staying in my flat reading books, watching movies, or simply cooking.

Also, the complaints I hear whenever they tell me stories vary. For instance, these DLSU people form cliques of their own and they IGNORE everyone else. I met only one DLSU graduate who was different and who can mingle with different types of persons. She likes partying and drinking and is quite liberated, telling me about her sexual exploits even! She is an open book and it is clear that she is like that because she values connections for her "future projects".

When the first group encountered some problems with the regional government, instead of demanding transparency and accountability they would prefer to keep silent. One even said, "do not bite the hands that feed you". So poor of him to have poor intellect with very little understanding of how the world works. Rich countries do not offer scholarships just because they are feeling generous. They do so for many reasons. One, the local population is stupid. (Just imagine USA... without the immigrants, it will die because the immigrants especially from Israel, Middle East, and East Asia contribute to the betterment of society with their bright ideas. As in the past when the immigrants provided backbreaking labor to build the infrastructures, so too now they are the source of the US' intellectual capital.) Second, they need to coopt target nationalities to have "allies" in the countries. I have always wanted to study abroad to gain experience but then I am thinking if I get brainwashed then I won't be able to serve my country well. So, no thanks. How many Filipino scholars have continued to fight for the marginalized after studying abroad? I even have a personal experience of being taken advantage of BY A PROFESSOR who was a product of Cambridge University no less. And my ex, a product of Australian education system, idolizes the West so much that I question his loyalty to the country. He in turn points out that I am partly Chinese and at present when China is becoming stronger economically and militarily, I often get insults from him. Like, duh. I always tell him that I am never a dog of anyone and that my principles and my beliefs are my own and not imposed on me by friends in the media or any "influential" person in the West. It doesn't matter how many years I spent in formal schools, I am able to retain my own self-identity because yes I attend classes, but this autodidactic is an explorer who refuses to be limited by books and the four walls of the classroom, more so by the media which is EXTREMELY BIASED AND UNBALANCED because for all we know they are paid by the rich and the powerful (Hello, Rappler and PDI!). So anyway, the third reason why rich countries attract bright students from other countries is for their own locals to experience interculturality and multiculturalism without having to spend bucks to travel abroad.

So it's funny that in the 19th century it was the Filipino middle class who initiated the reforms although it should be noted that history has been replete with small rebellions led by the poor who could no longer bear that injustices brought on them.  At present, I do not know what educators teach the students because their view of democracy is limited only to "majority wins" and to elections. I am even more disappointed to find that there is a UST professor among them who cautioned against sending a letter to the regional government and this UST professor studied abroad and teaches history. I shudder to imagine what she teaches to her students! I am equally disappointed in a UP professor among them who is so cowardly I lost whatever respect I initially had for her. But oh well, she is also a product of western universities so "do not bite the hand that feeds you" applies. I talked to her once about this in the hope of encouraging her to move but cowardice produces illogical excuses. I stopped talking to her after that.

The second group shares almost the same views as I do and they are composed of OFWs who work as domestic workers. I had the honor of being invited to their Sunday worship. Before that, we exchanged experiences and ideas on PH politics and how it is affecting the lives of ordinary people. Most educators focus a lot on the state and on "important" people without giving a damn f*ck about those at the bottom. I got to know more about INC stand on many things because of them. Apparently they don't like Rappler and ABS-CBN for the same reason I have--- they find these two media VERY biased and very elitist. I have been reading Rappler for the past few years but honestly I find it very bad journalism. The "journalists" cannot even write decent articles, and what is equally insulting is that it is very clear that it reflects bourgeois sentiments. What do we expect when the journalists themselves come from the rich??? And their bias is more obvious these days because of their anti-Duterte stand. Like, Rappler, honestly, does the Liberal Party or maybe that grand PH secret leader finance your operations??? So okay I also do not like Duterte but GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE! Here finally we have someone with political will but let's HELP instead of continuously criticizing him! (I am a teeny weeny bit pro-EJK, but I also want to see THE MASTERMINDS punished, those AT THE TOP and not just the poor. In fact, I want all public officials guilty of corruption to BE PUBLICLY EXECUTED to serve as warning to the future leaders and to remind them that their duty is to SERVE the Filipinos and not to destroy the country. Yes I have come to such extreme belief because PH politics is beyond hope and the society is full of brainwashed cowards.)

The third group are also domestic workers who just do not give a damn about what's going on. They only care about themselves and keep on comparing how others are faring. This is the envious group, as I label them. They're not as interesting as the second group but I would also listen to their stories of hardship and loneliness, including their sexual adventures here.

And speaking of romantic relationships, the ex has been asking me if I was dating anyone here. Stupid question. Until now he insults me because he does not know me well enough. Poor guy probably met shallow women all his life that he finds it hard to accept that there are strong independent women out there who can live abroad without men. Never compare me with other girls. I travel to learn more about myself and the world we live in, not to flirt with other men. Like, ewwww, I've had enough of stupid men in my life. I am on a vacation so I am supposed to enjoy and not bring hell into my life.

Toriko Movie 1 Kaimaku Gourmet Adventure

Since I was stuck in One Piece’s Water Seven arc and haven’t moved on from there for several years now, I have put OP in the backseat and have been exploring other animé. Toriko is one such animé although I wouldn´t be too interested in it to allot time to watch the series, it being a far cry from my favorite cooking animé Cooking Master Boy and Yakitate Japan. These two really set the standards! I first encountered Toriko in a crossover special joined by the main characters of One Piece and Dragonball Z. It should be noted that one thing in common in these three series is that the main hero of each is a known glutton!

In Toriko Movie 1, a young village boy named Peck looks for Toriko to kill Gerold, a five-headed bird reminiscent of Pokemon’s Dodrio except with a scary monster look. The bird monster has eaten up the other animals and the village is in danger of being wiped out after an initial attack. Peck requests to be Toriko’s disciple to also learn how to hunt so he can support his village. His knowledge of the predators lead him to help Toriko out when they eventually fight the Elephant Bear, a giant creature that goes out of its cave only every 15 years. When it is outside, it just keeps on eating and eating, thus causing the other animals to flee.

seems like this creature was inspired by the Pokemon Dodrio

and this creature is just too ugly I wouldn't think of eating its meat!

What I find disturbing in this animé is that nonchalant killing of creatures for food. Toriko is not guided by any noble principle, his stomach being his boss. In this light, species extinction is not thought of as long as nature satisfies man’s appetite. He even remarks while fighting the elephant bear that humans may not have powerful claws nor sharp fangs, but that humans have tools for eating, human weaponry as he calls it. This brings to mind cultural anthropologists who have long recognized that what sets humans apart from animals is our extrasomatic adaptations wherein naturally we are not endowed with sharp claws and/or teeth, or other body weapons but that we are able to create tools that we can use to protect ourselves. 

Se7en

Se7en is a suspense film about different murders patterned after the seven deadly sins. A well-read retiring detective named Somerset (Morgan Freeman) teams up with a soon-to-be-father detective Mills (Brad Pitt) to find the murderer responsible for the deaths of different persons. The first victim is an obese person who died with his face on a plate full of spaghetti and it seems that he was forced to eat until he died. The next is a lawyer who defended a criminal and ensured he stayed out of jail for a sum of money. The third is the rapist defended by the lawyer who was bed-ridden due to drug overdose but still survives after the attack. At this point, the two detectives are close to finding out who the next victims are after raiding the house of a Jonathan Doe, a lover of literature and more so of Dante’s Divine Comedy and John Milton’s Paradise Lost. They try to prevent another murder but came late at a club where prostitutes work. The fourth victim is a prostitute who was killed by a man against his wishes but because his very life is under threat. The fifth is a beautiful model who chose to die than to live with a disfigured face. The final two murders are so gruesome that it will make you lose faith in humanity.

DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS.

Jonathan Doe finally surrenders himself and asks that the two detectives go with him somewhere to see the second to the last victim. There, Somerset opens a box delivered by a man who was apparently paid by Doe already. Inside he finds the head of Mills’ wife Tracy. When Mills learns of this, Jonathan Doe explains that he was envious of Mills and tried to play husband to Tracy but Tracy refused but pleaded for her life and the baby which Mills knows nothing about. Tracy did not tell her husband because she was still deciding if she wanted to give birth to a baby in a dark, broken world. In his rage, despite Somerset cautioning him not to give in to anger, Mills shots Jonathan Doe and kills him, thus completing the seven deadly sins.

This mystery suspense film got me hooked especially because it is related to classical literature. It’s an intelligent movie which gets the point across without going overboard with the gore, which I am thankful for because I watched this on a weekend when I was alone. The movie shows what’s in the mind of a self-righteous psycho, someone who enjoys torturing others. He may be the very example of a man who tried to access the deepest wisdom but failed to become fully enlightened. (As they say, a little learning is a dangerous thing.) As Somerset reads in one of Doe’s many notebooks, "What sick ridiculous puppets we are, and what a gross stage we dance on. What fun we have dancing and fucking. Not a care in the world, not knowing that we are nothing. We are not what was intended." This shows that Doe realized the banality of human life, and it is this realization that pushed him to do the gruesome murders in order to preach and he was very creative in doing so, even causing the downfall of Mills, an agent of the state who is supposed to uphold the rule of law but who succumbed to his passions that he breached the very thing he works hard for. However, I believe that a truly enlightened man will yes, realize the pointlessness of life. This is but the first step. But then he or she will not be so self-righteous as to want blood to flow. Instead, he or she will just continue living in the best possible way he or she can, even though it is difficult and even though life is full of struggles, both externally and internally. He or she will strive to be a better person and not seek to hurt another in any way. In this respect, as an alternative to this film’s story, I would probably add Miguel de Unamuno and Soren Kierkegaard to Doe’s reading list.

****************

Somerset: "I just don't think I can continue to live in a place that embraces and nurtures apathy as if it was a virtue."

Mills: "You're no different, you're no better.

Somerset: "I didn't say I was different or better. I'm not. Hell, I sympathize. I sympathize completely. Apathy is a solution. I mean, it's easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It's easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It's easier to beat a child than to raise it. Hell, love costs. It takes effort and work."

Mills: "we are talking about people who are mentally ill. We are talking abut people, fucking crazies."

Somerset: "No. We're talking about everyday life here. You can't afford to be this naive.”

*****************

John Doe: It's not something I would expect you to accept. But I did not choose. I was chosen.

Somerset: I don't doubt that you believe that, John. But seems to me that you're overlooking a glaring contradiction. (...) If you were chosen, that is, by a higher power and if your hand was forced, it seems strange to me that you'd get such enjoyment out of it. You enjoyed torturing those people. This doesn't seem in keeping with martyrdom, does it?

(...)

John Doe: And that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial.

四月わ君の噓 (2014)

"Your Lie in April" made me cry a lot despite the very clichéd and predictable plot. The only refreshing thing here is that compared to 君が望む永遠 (an ero animé which I watched while an undergraduate student, this one is about young teens who are just at an age when they are exploring love while doing their best in their fields of interest. And so here we witness pure and innocent love, something that is not manipulative nor needy nor anything of the sort, just the simplicity of liking (or loving a person) to the point that you give a part of you to him or her with no conditions.

Arima Kousei is your typical aloof main character who two years ago from present timeline, gained renown for his uncanny ability to play with such high accuracy that he was given the title "human metronome".  (If I were like him I would be very happy as I always have problems with timing. I always end up playing a piece AS I HEAR IT, and not as how it is meant to be played LOL... which I would realize after watching this animé that it is okay no matter how you play as long as you enjoy the music and share that enjoyment with others.) You see, Kousei was under a lot of pressure because his mother was dying. His mother was so worried about her son's future that she put him under strict piano lessons so much that his playing didn't seem to satisfy her one bit. After a piano competition, Kousei told his mom that he wished she would die which happened not soon after. Overcome with guilt and grief, Kousei shunned the piano.

Present storyline: Kousei met a bubbly (but sometimes violent) blond-haired violinist named Miyazono Kaori through his childhood friend Sawabe Tsubaki. Kaori pushed Kousei hard to accompany her to her violin performance which surprised many people because it had been a while since Kousei last performed. However in the middle of the performance, what Kousei feared happened--- he was suddenly unable to hear the notes he was playing. He described the feeling as being under the sea, seeing and hearing nothing with only the void enveloping you. Towards the end, he was able to bring himself back to the performance thanks to Kaori's guidance.

And then in the middle of the series, many more characters turned up which were helpful to Kousei face his past. There were his mother's best friend Seto Hiroko who eventually became his mentor. There were the two competitive pianists Emi and Takeshi who were so moved by Kousei's piano performance years earlier that they, too, entered the piano world. As Kousei was preparing for his piano competition where he is to face these two "rivals", Kaori was battling her own sickness in the hospital. No longer able to walk nor play the violin, she pushed Kousei to play for her before she dies.

The whole story is very predictable as I have said. I was right when I correctly guessed that apart from Emi and Takeshi, Kaori was also part of the audience when Kousei was then known as piano prodigy. But instead of choosing the piano as her instrument of choice, she asked her parents for a violin instead, so she can one day accompany Kousei on the stage. At that time, she developed a crush on Kousei until their fateful meeting wherein she pretended to like Kousei's friend Watari Ryota.

Did I still cry even with the simple plot? Yes, A LOT! One great strength of Japanese films and animé is that even with a simple story, the execution is always so damn powerful and subtle that at a certain point you don't know what hit you but you just know that it is something really beautiful. The use of Rachmaninov's Liebeslied and Liebesfreud was such a fitting accompaniment to how Kousei moved from "dark" love to something that is warm and full of light. This effectively makes this animé a top choice when talking about the its overlap with classical music.

I, Frankenstein (2014)

After watching Hammer of the Gods, I proceeded to watch I, Frankenstein, a good move to temper the overly violent and gory HoG. This Frankenstein movie is a must-see, especially if you like anything related to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which is one of those classic novels I read and loved as a child. Together with Bram Stoker's Dracula, Frankenstein has always been of interest to me and I would gladly watch or read anything related to the two. And in I, Frankenstein, vampire-looking demons and the monster meet each other together with another beloved creature, those mysterious gargoyles!

The movie is a spin-off of the popular Frankenstein story where the monster killed Victor Frankenstein's bride and ran off to be followed by its creator who died in the cold. As the monster was burying his creator, a group of demons attacked him and it seems like they want to kidnap him for the demon Prince Naberius but he was saved by a two gargoyles who brought him to their cathedral where the Gargoyle Order resides. It was such a visual feast whenever the gargoyles appear in action and more so when they ascend or when they cause the demons to descend especially in Cologne Cathedral (OMG!!!) and the movie has plenty of these scenes. So anyway, the monster was renamed Adam by the Gargoyle Queen Leonore. Unwilling to choose sides in the war between the gargoyles and the demons, Adam opted to live and wander alone. Frankenstein's notebook ended up in the vault of the cathedral under the care of the gargoyles.

Two hundred years later, Adam is again caught in the war as science progresses and scientists funded by Prince Naberius are close to success in replicating Victor Frankenstein's experiments. They only needed either the monster or the notes to finally get it right so they attacked the cathedral and kidnapped the queen. In exchange for the queen, Gideon, one of the senior gargoyles, took out the notebook to give up to the demons, but Adam appeared and was able to retrieve it. He meets a beautiful scientist named Terra who works under Naberius and warns her of the evil plan to animate corpses so they can be possessed by fallen demons. When Terra's fellow scientist Carl was killed by Naberius' men, she reinitiated the experiment in a bid to revive Carl. As this happens, Adam leads the gargoyles to the demons' place and another battle ensues. Naberius, thinking that Adam is soulless, prepares his body for a fallen demon but was surprised to find that Adam indeed has a soul and is immune to demon possession. The gargoyles are meanwhile hard at work battling the demons and destroying the corpse laboratory. In the end, Leonore saves Adam and Terra from the crumbling palace.

This movie makes me rethink how everything starts out neutral and we define something as good or bad based on how such things either benefit or harm us. Every time I encounter something bad, I just try to find the good in it. It helps to keep a positive outlook in life as the world is already shrouded in darkness and a happy person is sometimes what we need to light up the world. (But in reality I cry almost every night missing the persons I love.)

Hammer of the Gods (2013)

Last night I watched two movies. I missed my introvert self after spending three days with a family and their relatives. I was lucky to get invited to a wedding party, a lavish one with too much food. Happy to have eaten prawns again, plus the assorted hors d'oeuvres where I got to taste awesome fried seafood balls, the taste of which shall haunt me forever. I did enjoy the party except I also missed my bedroom. I guess getting older each year makes you want to stay in.

So last night, I watched Hammer of the Gods and I, Frankenstein. HoG is not the usual good-vs-bad movie. I find it a very pointless movie full of blood and gore and machismo. Young Viking Prince Steinar swore an oath to his dying father to find his exiled brother. The brother was supposed to be the next king. Steinar, heroic and true to his word despite his desire to lead his people, went on an adventure where he was joined by his cowardly half brother Vali, and his loyal friends. One of these friends will die at his hands, a good warrior at that, because Steinar refuses to get his useless brother killed! And this is even after knowing that Vali accepted Saxon coins to betray his people! How stupid is that???

And then even more stupid is discovering that his own mother and brother have an incestuous affair! So Steinar has to fight his brother, supposedly using only bare hands, but he was able to kill with a knife because the brother had one hidden for his own use. The brother was the cult leader of a group of savages and losing is no option lest his divinity be questioned. But Steinar was still able to come out alive and go back to his dying father's camp where he assumed the role of king.

So I was thinking maybe the whole thing was an initiation of sorts, a test made by the king to ensure that the right son will inherit the throne. The other son, who stayed in the camp, turned out to be a traitor who secretly connived with the Saxons. Vali, on the other hand, will do anything even convert just to save his own skin. Hakan, the exiled brother, is of no use since he bears grudges against the whole kingdom. So only Steinar is really left as the suitable heir. In the end, he and his  wife are seen to lead their men to war.

Also, the film hints subtly on the three religions in barbaric England when the Vikings's old Norse religion crosses paths with Christianity and with paganism. The Saxons are seen to be quite as violent as the Vikings as threw stones at a woman tied to a small Stonehenge.