The second BER month is about to end so I might as well list down what I want for Christmas. Not that I am expecting anyone to give me anything on my list but let's see if the universe will conspire to grant some on it.
Christmas is never for me. I get depressed during the holidays. Must be SAD (seasonal affective disorder). The festive atmosphere is supposed to cheer one up, right? But no, the warm lights on the Christmas tree, the Christmas songs one hears almost everywhere at this time of the year, the sights of mall sale, the sudden increase of people in Metro Manila, the advertisements, they all make me pensive.
And I would always wish I were somewhere quiet, where I can bask in blissful solitude. The mountains would be a most welcome retreat, but who would join me when families are supposed to be together for Christmas?
Also, I dread getting useless stuffs, mostly recycled gifts. I dread the organized exchange gifts in the workplace, though I participate for the sake of pakikisama. And who knows maybe somewhere out there somebody might just pack one awesomely unique gift for me, or something I can use, not something I'll just dump somewhere in our already messy room (thanks to me).
Contrary to what many think, I am actually quite easy to please. I don't want cheap things which you can buy anywhere. I have no need for cute things which I can't even use. I dislike things people give just so they can say they have given gifts. Just imagine how many tons of useless stuff factories produce everyday worldwide and just imagine the the amount of resources used to produce these useless things which usually just end up in the dumpsite. No wonder this world is so sick, it is so drowned in consumerism it forgets life's simple pleasures.
What I want is something more personal, something that truly comes from the heart, something that is exclusively meant for me. And the best part is that you don't have to spend that much when considering a gift for me. Life is simple and simplicity has always been associated with me for as long as I can remember.
Write me a poem and I'd keep it and treasure it as if it were some piece of jewelry. Create a card for me showing your artsy side and it will easily be one of my prized possessions. Write me a long letter, and I'd keep it somewhere safe but easily accessible for when I would miss you, I would just take it out and read it and then my heart shall smile at the sweet memory of you.
The best gifts I have received are not the most expensive nor the most beautiful. But they are the best gifts because the givers really considered what I like and they made sure these gifts are things that I will simply put on the shelves to gather dust. Friends who have given me books know my thirst for literature. Friends who wrote me letters are the best; I think they know me as a sentimental person who takes pleasure in walking down memory lane. Friends who invite me to go someplace new know my love for adventure, the same for those who bring me to restos be they expensive or dirt cheap. In the end, it's always the thought that counts.
I guess that must be one reason why I find it hard to give gifts. I tend to project my tastes unto the recipients and they must be disappointed whenever I end up giving them small cards or colorful letters or whatnot. Still I am happy to have found friends who truly appreciated the small things I give. I was even surprised when two of my male friends told me they keep all the letters I have given them in their wallets. I guess that's what you call friendship.
Anyway, the material things I want for this year:
1. Boxes of dark chocolates (preferably with mint or orange)
2. Old and rare books
3. Yacht cruise (Mediterranean or Caribbean.... Or both)
4. Free movie passes or tickets to concerts and theatrical performances
5. Ride in a helicopter
6. International and domestic trips
7. Europe trip! (perhaps two months will do but I wonder if I could have such long leave)
8. Notebooks and pens
9. Dinner in unusual restaurants
Last and the most important are two things which always go hand in hand. I always wish to have courage to do the things I have to do and to have strength to continue doing what I have to do.