January is coming to an end and I have yet to add anything other than what I did in December last year. 2014 started with a personal vow not to wish for the usual things I ask for, so I can give my heart a rest and stop expecting things to get better. 2013 ended with a promise to focus on the self and continue to reconnect with people whom I care for.
Reading my diary entries in highschool and early college years made me aware of how much I changed. I didn't realize the big change in me all these years, always thinking that I remained the same. But comparing my erstwhile angry, furious, self-centered writings to those at present, I can say that I have definitely become more compassionate and more tolerant of other people.
Perhaps, reading more about Buddhism and visiting Buddhist temples struck something in me. That life is illusory and empty used to be only a theory, but now a principle I hold, so I try to create meaning for myself in this world of constant change, to help me cope with my daily existential grievances. Pain is a passing illusion and relief is always just around the corner. Just be patient, I always tell myself. Perhaps my daily engagement with the very inefficient transportation system here somehow changed me a great deal. To escape great discomfort, I allowed my mind to wander aimlessly and come to myself when I am about to get off the train. No-mind practicing at its best.
Back from my first IPPA (Indo-Pacific Prehistory Association) Congress, held this year in Siem Reap, Cambodia from January 12-18, I was left utterly stunned and restless from all the amazing things I learned about archaeology in different parts of the world, more so about methods in archaeological science, a field I want to specialize in because however it is difficult to admit, I realized I love lab work more than the field.
I wanted to write so badly about Cambodia, but I didn't know where to begin. On cold nights when you feel too lazy to do things, I couldn't even look at the pictures I took for fear that I might just stare for hours on end hoping for muses to visit me so I could begin to write. It seemed like a dream. Yesterday's dream. I used to think that I would certainly cry when I walk on the grounds of Angkor Wat and touch the ancient temples' walls. When I was there, I only stood, overwhelmed, breathless, aiming to breathe in all the memories, wishing for time to stop so I could spend more time recording, touching, investigating. Now back in Manila, it felt surreal, like a beautiful dream you didn't want to wake up from.
Just four days after my return, my sisters and I flew to Boracay for that much-needed getaway. Boracay was never on my bucket list of places to go to, because of my perceived notion that the island is already very much commercialized. Indeed it is, but it was there where I found the finest white beach sand yet. My feet happily tread on the beach, sometimes deliberately burrowing deep to wallow in the creamy sand-saltwater mixture. And the winds! How they blew! The sunset blocked by hundreds of paraws... The lights at night, the blue sky... There is more than one reason to go back.
Just got back from Boracay this Monday and headed straight to work despite feeling extra sleepy and tired. But it's all so worth it.
Now if only I can start writing about my recent travels....
Reading my diary entries in highschool and early college years made me aware of how much I changed. I didn't realize the big change in me all these years, always thinking that I remained the same. But comparing my erstwhile angry, furious, self-centered writings to those at present, I can say that I have definitely become more compassionate and more tolerant of other people.
Perhaps, reading more about Buddhism and visiting Buddhist temples struck something in me. That life is illusory and empty used to be only a theory, but now a principle I hold, so I try to create meaning for myself in this world of constant change, to help me cope with my daily existential grievances. Pain is a passing illusion and relief is always just around the corner. Just be patient, I always tell myself. Perhaps my daily engagement with the very inefficient transportation system here somehow changed me a great deal. To escape great discomfort, I allowed my mind to wander aimlessly and come to myself when I am about to get off the train. No-mind practicing at its best.
Back from my first IPPA (Indo-Pacific Prehistory Association) Congress, held this year in Siem Reap, Cambodia from January 12-18, I was left utterly stunned and restless from all the amazing things I learned about archaeology in different parts of the world, more so about methods in archaeological science, a field I want to specialize in because however it is difficult to admit, I realized I love lab work more than the field.
I wanted to write so badly about Cambodia, but I didn't know where to begin. On cold nights when you feel too lazy to do things, I couldn't even look at the pictures I took for fear that I might just stare for hours on end hoping for muses to visit me so I could begin to write. It seemed like a dream. Yesterday's dream. I used to think that I would certainly cry when I walk on the grounds of Angkor Wat and touch the ancient temples' walls. When I was there, I only stood, overwhelmed, breathless, aiming to breathe in all the memories, wishing for time to stop so I could spend more time recording, touching, investigating. Now back in Manila, it felt surreal, like a beautiful dream you didn't want to wake up from.
Just four days after my return, my sisters and I flew to Boracay for that much-needed getaway. Boracay was never on my bucket list of places to go to, because of my perceived notion that the island is already very much commercialized. Indeed it is, but it was there where I found the finest white beach sand yet. My feet happily tread on the beach, sometimes deliberately burrowing deep to wallow in the creamy sand-saltwater mixture. And the winds! How they blew! The sunset blocked by hundreds of paraws... The lights at night, the blue sky... There is more than one reason to go back.
Just got back from Boracay this Monday and headed straight to work despite feeling extra sleepy and tired. But it's all so worth it.
Now if only I can start writing about my recent travels....
