Third Visit

So last week I was able to visit her again. The moment I stepped inside her niece's house, I saw her smile which almost got me to tears. She was able to talk without much difficulty now, unlike in my previous visits when she would just stare at me and move her head to answer yes/no questions. Before, I would just talk to her niece for updates, what she's eating, how many times a day she's eating, any changes in her overall situation, etc.

But this time, she was remarkably happy. She has just taken a sponge bath when I arrived. And I don't know why but maybe there's a mix of relief that our efforts are bearing fruits, that maybe there is still hope after all... I couldn't stop tears from falling down my cheeks.

It felt so awkward because I'm always known as a strong person. I seldom cry in public. I NEVER want to cry in public. But that time was different. I choked up on words as I tried to stop crying but let it go anyway and what the heck, never mind what she or her niece says. Sometimes when emotions are repressed, you can only hold them in for long and you'll eventually burst. I think that's what happened.

And I cried even after I went out of their house, while I crossed the bridge to get to the tricycle terminal. Lucky me the sun was already setting and I just wished people would be too busy to notice my tear-stained face. While inside the tricycle, a girl sat beside me but luckily she never as took a second look at me and the motor was noisy so I had the privilege to cry out my heart.

Except that even when I transferred to a jeepney tears still wouldn't stop. I was so embarrassed the whole time but I got lucky when I was on my way to Trinoma to meet up with my sister. Of course, I wouldn't want her to see me crying, too. Talk about pride... LOL. So while inside the bus, my emotions finally subsided and I calmed down. Whew!

My sister treated me to Pho Hoa, one of our favorite restaurants. Without second thought we ordered our favorite beef noodles and fresh spring rolls. YUM! I'm always amazed at how food, especially those that I love, can change one's moods and create a happy feeling inside one's being.