Earlier this month my sisters and I agreed to attend the 5AM mass at Sto. Domingo Church for the Light's 100 days. Since the Light's demise, I could feel that the bond we three share became strong. Even without words, even though I am not comfortable crying in front of them, there seems to be some unspoken understanding that exists among us, that we were lucky to be at the receiving end of her goodness and generosity. And with that comes the unspoken grief and sorrow that each one of us holds in our hearts.
While having lunch in Binmaley last week, I instinctively took out two pieces of bukayo and kept them in my bag. Out of habit I have been doing this since I was young to have something for the Light. Whenever I could I would bring her simple treats especially those which I enjoyed in my travels.
Those two pieces were left almost forgotten in my bag and in the office while looking for a pen in my messy bag, I chanced upon those two and reflected on how some habits are hard to break.
I think back on the day I came back from Mexico, bringing chocolates and biscuits. But my favorite person in the world was no longer there to greet me. The only person who took joy in listening to my travel stories is now gone.
Once while on the way to work, I thought of her. I was a mere five minutes from the gate and tears were forming in my eyes. It was painful having to suppress the sadness. I had to force silly thoughts in my mind, it's like gulping down your favorite drink while having alcohol on your wounds.
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