D.H. Lawrence: The Savage Pilgrimage

I first heard of D.H. Lawrence in highschool when we were tasked to be familiar with important Western literary works for our English classes. Lawrence was one of the unforgettable names included because based on our textbooks, he wrote controversial novels which ran counter to the conservative air of his time. Some of the titles that never left my mind are Lady Chatterly's Lover, Sons and Lovers, and Women in Love. In fact, Carswell even notes the criticisms heaped on the last novel mentioned, that it was deemed "a book the police should ban", a "loathsome study of sex depravity--- misleading youth to unspeakable disaster", an "obscene study", a "neurotic production", a "shameless study of sex depravity which in direct proportion to the skill of its literary execution becomes unmentionably vile". I have never read any of his works but there must be something that made me buy Catherine Carswell's biography of this English writer. 2011 was the year I was about to finish my post-graduate studies and I must have been looking forward to a return to fiction then, but for some reason or the other, my life has always been filled with adventures of many kinds thus I keep putting reading off. 

These days, as I have mentioned in my previous posts, I have been trying to free as much space as I can by finally reading my books. I start with fiction because they are easier to give away than non-fiction. And because I have more time now compared to the time before lockdown, I am finally able to write about these books I will be giving away. 

Or maybe I was only attracted to this PHP 10 treat...

The Savage Pilgrimage is about D.H. Lawrence as Carswell knew him. Carswell is a literary critic who highly esteem Lawrence and the two are very close to the point that Carswell defends her writer friend from John Middleton Murry's attacks. While reading this book, I cannot help but think that maybe Carswell fancies Lawrence for herself. But as she mentions in many passages, Lawrence is a believer of marriage and Carswell, also married, must have kept her feelings to herself. From Carswell we learn that Lawrence likes to get busy, that his civility and politeness is such a virtue that even that most displeasing person would never feel that Lawrence is displeased with him or her. He also likes farming and gardening, travels a lot, and finds America hollow. In between writing about Lawrence's writings, Carswell introduces many literary men and women like Katherine Mansfield who is married to Murry, and Aldous Huxley. Unfortunately Huxley is not mentioned much.

Anyway, I think I am the worst person to write a review of this book. I cannot even relate to much of Carswell's writings because I have never read Lawrence. But I am quite glad he also wrote poems and short stories which I might be able to access online. Still, something in me is very curious as to his controversial novels. Well, when censors tell you not to read something, the more it becomes tempting and seductive. Maybe I will just end up reading summaries like what Q does, which I think is also a fine way of educating one's self but the downside is that you don't get to appreciate how well a writer strings words to tell his/her story. 

The Robber Bride

Margaret Atwood is well-known for her dystopian novel The Handmaid's Tale which I read while in college but was super bored with it that now I do not remember much about the story except that it's about women who are forced into social engineering under a dictatorship. I must thank my friends at the literature forum I joined in college. Finding like-minded friends was very difficult so I turned to online forums to seek out people who love to read and who discuss literature in a very intelligent manner. It was thanks to some people I've become close to there that I started to read up on dystopia.

So it shouldn't be a surprise that in 2009 I would not have a second thought about buying The Robber Bride, and at only PHP35 it was a very cheap bargain. And like Riven Rock, this fiction will happily land in someone's lap and I hope whoever it is will ponder about this book many times just as I did.

My copy had this card with impressionist painting...

And inside is a note... the card is most likely from Canada because Pierre Belvedere is in that country as per a quick Google search

The Robber Bride tells the story of three friends with very different personalities and interests but who come together because of a common frenemy named Zenia, a woman who for them is the very personification of pure evil. Tony, Charis/Karen, and Roz knew each other from college but were not close at that time until Zenia entered each of their lives to ruin each woman's relationship with their men. War nerd and palindrome addict Tony married her best friend West who was so manipulated by Zenia but when the evil woman reappeared in their lives later on, West left Tony for Zenia. Tony was aloof and West and Zenia became her most intimate friends in college so Tony shared her personal stories like how her mother left her and her father one day. She also wrote a history paper for Zenia, feeling sorry for her many struggles in life. In the end during the confrontation after discovering Zenia faked her death, Zenia tried to blackmail her again by threatening to expose Tony's academic dishonesty and undermine the latter's teaching credibility, but Tony just walked away.

Of the three friends, I feel the most sorry for Charis/Karen. Her mother seemed to have some sort of mental illness thus Karen grew up a battered child. She eventually came to live with her grandmother and later on with her aunt and her husband who sexually abused her. The uncle also robbed her of her inheritance, a small amount she got after her grandmother's death, but she was able to recuperate it in the end and filed a case against her uncle. Charis, which Karen has come to be known, was a new age spiritualist whose superior empathy made her a perfect target for Zenia who came to live with her and her partner Billy and eventually succeeded in seducing Billy to go away with her. Zenia faked having a grave illness and Charis took extra care of her, which was very very sweet, yet the ungrateful Zenia really had to make a fool out of her. During the confrontation, Zenia told Charis that it was Billy who killed her two chickens that day they decided to leave Charis.

Roz came from a humble background. Her mother leased space to boarders in their house and was a very hardworking woman. Her father was first introduced as a special agent during the war but eventually Roz learned from her dad's friends that these men were actually looters and part of an underground group. Roz eventually had an affluent life thanks to her father's illicit activities. She married a lawyer named Mitch whom Zenia seduced and the two ran away together. Zenia then took cheques signed by Mitch and disappeared, leaving Mitch hunting for her until he met his death in the yacht. During the confrontation, Zenia threatened to expose Roz's son Larry as being a drug pusher and asked for a sum of money. Roz almost gave in to protect her son but she consulted with her friends and was spared being fooled again. 

So after each confrontation, the three decided to go back to the hotel but learned that Zenia died. She was seen to be floating in the fountain, most likely having fallen from her room above.

Atwood's writing style is boring, but her story is very interesting. I lost count of the number of times I cursed in my mind because she wrote so many descriptions of the settings and there is very little action in the stories. I had to be extra patient until I get to the point where Tony and Zenia began sharing stories and that was when things got very interesting. Zenia's life holds the most interest and even at the end the reader is left wondering what is Zenia's real life story, is there any grain of truth in what she tells the three friends, that she just saved them all from terrible men. Well to give her credit, I personally think that if a man is weak enough to be seduced by another woman and betray his supposed "love", then a woman is better off without him. However, Zenia seems to be a very powerful manipulative woman who can wreak havoc on even the sweetest person's life and this fact is enough to prove that she is pure evil personified.

If there is one character I would have loved to be given more role, it is Boyce. So it's no secret that I have been following Stratford Festival and I was surprised to find in their videos that Atwood is actually a fan of Shakespeare. (Okay, I know I shouldn't be surprised because as I recently discovered, The Bard's claim to fame is very legitimate, no questions asked. But maybe I just find it super awesome that the books I read and the plays I watch recently all are connected in one way or the other. Like, Caille Millner's The Golden Road, T. C. Boyle's Riven Rock, and now Atwood's The Robber Bride... the one thing in common is they show immigrants' determination and will in making their dreams come true in North America.) So anyway, back to Boyce. I find him a funny guy, someone I'd like to converse with because of his witty lines and he quotes great poets like Shakespeare, Blake, and even Stevie Smith. While Roz was learning about Larry being gay, there is a funny moment wherein Boyce quoted Smith and Larry told him to shut up. 

I just wished I read this way back in 2009 so I would know how to handle manipulative and evil people. But oh well, I was able to overcome those terrible moments and it's never too late to learn something about human nature. Then again, had I read this at a younger age, I would have saved myself from many heartaches.  

 

Riven Rock

On the second month of ECQ, I am seeing its positive side as I am able to accomplish much this May. I was able to clean our bedrooom, rearrange stuff to make room for my other stuff which I would be getting later on, and which I just did last week. I am thankful to my sister for going with me to get my things and thank God the parents agreed for me to use the car. Aside from these, I am finally back to being a bookworm and have finished tonight my second non-acads related book: T. C. Boyle's Riven Rock.

I bought this book a decade ago from Booksale, and I can't believe I got a masterpiece for only PHP35!

Riven Rock is a a novel set around the early 1900s about a power couple. Stanley Robert McCormick is an heir to the McCormick fortune built from the patriarch Cyrus' reaper company. His wife Katherine Dexter- McCormick is MIT's first woman graduate from the sciences program, and herself coming from a prominent family. What started as a sweet romantic affair becomes chaotically depressing as Stanley's mental illness manifests gradually leading to his incarceration in his family's estate named Riven Rock. While occupying himself with the estate for his sister Mary Virginia who was the first one to be confined in the property due to her mental illness, Stanley saw a slab of sandstone that was split in two, and thus gave the place its name. In 1912, he himself will be confined in the same place where he would meet his death.

"It was he very stuff of the earth's bones, solid rock, impenetrable, impermeable, the symbol of everything that endures, and here it was split in two, riven like a yard of cheap cloth, and by a thing so small and insidious as an acorn..." (p. 124)

Stanley is joined by his personal nurse Eddie O'Kane, among others, whose own story is interwoven with those of the McCormick couple. I cannot help but compare the two men. Shy, awkward, mild-mannered Stanley who is diagnosed  with dementia praecox (read: sex maniac) is slowly regarded to be a danger to society after he exhibited violent behaviors. In one outing, he almost drowned a fisherman. He took a German teacher against the latter's will to Katherine's house when he is advised to study the German language to calm his nerves. He displays rude behavior when he calls his kindhearted, soft-spoken mother-in-law "a stupid old woman" inside her own home. He tries to hurt Katherine because of his paranoia that his wife is cheating on him with Butler Ames, a former suitor, when Katherine is busy with her plans in the academe. Prior to his diagnosis, Stanley is shown to be critical of capitalism, himself converting a portion of his business to a socialist venture. He is proud of such achievement and Katherine becomes attracted to him because of that.

On the other hand, O'Kane is a womanizer. For certain he is a competent man in his profession, and I can say that in his presence Stanley can be controlled for he is treated not as an employee but as a friend and confidant. I despise his character though for treating women as mere sex objects. He marries Rosaleen when she becomes pregnant with his child. And while in Riven Rock away from his wife, he seduces Giovanella who later on bears his son but is married to an old shoemaker because O'Kane is revealed to be an adulterer and therefore they cannot marry. The shoemaker dies eventually during the Spanish Flu pandemic, and later on Giovanella marries O'Kane when things become more peaceful between them. And I have to add that O'Kane physically hurt these two women, and yet he is considered to be a normal person. Maybe this is one theme of the book, of how society's standards weigh and how this distorts our views of what is right and just.

I am also amused at how Katherine will do anything to get Stanley back, even hiring psychiatrists who are obvious quacks. Then again, the field of psychiatry is just at a developing stage at the onset of the 20th century so I refrain from making further comments on Katherine's decisions. But I will definitely point out how these doctors hold Stanley hostage so they can get money and in the case of Dr. Hamilton, decent funding and resources for his study of ape sexuality and who, in Freudian fashion, theorizes that sex is the root and cause of human activity. And this whole ape study thing mirrors exactly our main character who himself is seen to be dangerous to women as demonstrated in the first few chapters while he and company are traveling on a train and suddenly Stanley attacks a young woman intent on sexually violating her.

Katherine's disappointment in men

Katherine herself is a formidable character who possesses quite an intellect reserved for educated women such as she during that time. She has her own share of injustices, being quite talented at chess that boys are beaten and eventually the group was disbanded when her male teacher "discovered an obscure prohibition against board games". How very apt and witty of Boyle to incorporate chess in this story of male incarceration and feminine energy that continues to fight for rights and love. Boyle writes: "(...) never mind that the queen was the power behind the throne and the king a poor-crippled one-hop-at-a-time beggar hardly more fit or able than a pawn, he was the object of the game and they all knew it." (p. 72)

And I have to really say how uncannily timely it is that at this time of Covid-19 pandemic, I am consuming this story as I did with Tom Robbins' Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates and its globe-trotting main character Switters, while I was on a very long vacation in Spain. With Riven Rock, I feel so much claustrophobia just imagining being locked up for the rest of your life, even though you have people who attend to your needs. Money cannot buy freedom. And yet, here we are still under lockdown with the same feeling that money cannot buy health. And did I say that the Spanish flu also featured in the novel? So just imagine how I am taken aback by all these coincidences when all I wanted was to just read a book to make good use of time. Or maybe it's the priestess in me working...

To end this post, I will have to say that while I was around 50 pages shy of finishing Riven Rock, I looked up T.C. Boyle in the Internet to answer one simple question: is he a misogynist? (I got that idea because he is one heck of a writer who really makes characters come alive and I am thinking maybe he is like O'Kane.) Only I am surprised to find that he looks like a balding Ironman, witty and charming, and is a really really cool guy, based on the interviews I have watched on Youtube. I even told Q about this book last night when he chatted me up and I asked his views on locking up mentally ill people who may become a menace to society. Always the liberal, he avoids a clear yes/no answer and even suggests that those who cannot control their urges "should be given proper care and support so that they might one day survive in the real world."  Did I say that the novel also reeks of privilege and that while reading I cannot help but think what could have been the story development if we have a poor couple instead of a power couple?

Quote from FIERCE INVALIDS HOME FROM HOT CLIMATES

“I suspect there’s a bid for empowerment behind it all, the power going to whoever seizes the right to coin the names. In a reality made of language, the people who get to name things have psychological ownership of those things.. Couples name their pets and children, Madison Avenue names the products that dominate our desires, theologians name the deities that dominate our spirit－’Yahweh’ changed to ‘Jehovah’ changed to plain ol’ generic ‘God’－kids name the latest cultural trends or rename old ones to make them theirs; politicians name streets and schools and airports after one another or after the enemies they’ve successfully eliminated: they took Martin Luther King’s life, for example, and then by naming their pork barrel projects after him, took possession of his memory. In a way, we’re like linguistic wolves, lifting our legs on patches of cultural ground to mark them with verbal urine as territory that we alone control. Or maybe not.”

- Switters, page 211

This book kept me company while I was in Spain and I savored every word and every moment in the book. Tom Robbins is one heck of a writer with an outrageously funny and witty and super playful mind whose command of language is so hilariously realistic although a bit vulgar. I especially love the way he conjures images in his readers minds with his silly similes and humorous metaphors, thrown alongside a long list of ironies in the novel. 

Much to my regret, I had to leave the book behind as part of my detachment exercises. I miss it from time to time but I find comfort in that whoever picks up that book might also experience the same enjoyment I did.

The Art of Literature

Today as I try to put some order in the bedroom, I chanced upon this small piece of paper. Looking back, as a college student, I would borrow books from the library, books which were not required reading but which interested me. My happiest days in college were spent savoring Chinese classic novels and feasting on the literary gems in the form of poetry from different countries. I loved Japanese poetry best, for the subtlety and elegance, the delicate mix of melancholy and celebration of sorrows.

This piece of paper is a transaction receipt from the College of Arts Library, indicating my borrowed items: "Cosmology in Antiquity" and Arthur Schopenhauer's "The Art of Literature". It is from the latter that I derived the quotes in the pic.

On style, Schopenhauer writes that there are two kinds of tediousness:
1. Objective- author has no perfect knowledge he wantd to communicate.
2. Subjective- reader is disinterested in the topic of the author.

Other important thoughts that I found valuable enough to note down are:

"Authors should use common words to say uncommon things."

"Words make truth intelligible."

"Le secret pour être ennuyeux, c'est de tout dire. (...) To use many words to communicate few thoughts is everywhere the unmistakable signs of mediocrity. To gather much thought into few words stamps the man of genius."

"The business of the novelist is not to relate great events, but to make small ones interesting."

On life, which I had been enlightened to at an early age while lapping up the Book of Ecclesiastes:

"Human life is short and fleeting."

On good books:

"A good book should be read at least twice."

On above, I have read not a few good books but due to lack of time, I seldom read a book twice. The Bible I have read numerous times simply because it was the only book I could get hands onto at home when I was young. Now with so many books in my collection, I very rarely reopen a loved book unless required or compelled to do so.

Questioning Our Heroes

A month before my birthday as I was looking for interesting books inside National Bookstore on a lazy Saturday afternoon, I spied Nick Joaquin's A Question of Heroes. Because I was still obsessing over the film Heneral Luna and have been on the lookout for materials about Antonio Luna, I bought the book without a second thought seeing that it tackles the revolutions first against Spaniards then against the Americans. That despite the book costing me PHP350, but I had no regrets because the book was well-written.

A Question of Heroes traces the series of revolutions that took place to where it all started, arguing that it was the creoles who started it all with their campaigns for the appointment of the native clergy. The execution of the GOMBURZA inspired privileged young men, the ilustrados, who obtained education, most of them in Europe, to establish a Propaganda movement which enlisted the sympathies of Spanish politicians. It was the highlight of the whole movement as one after the other these ilustrados made the nascent Filipino community proud by winning competitions and garnering accolades in international settings. And it is precisely because of the ilustrados' achievements later on culminating into a sense of nationhood that Nick Joaquin argues that the entire period from the Propaganda Movement up to the war against the Americans is just a single event aptly named the Revolution of the Ilustrados.

While it is undisputed that the ilustrados fanned the fire to nationalistic tendencies, I have reservations on this since the masses were discredited. I strongly suspect that this is because Nick Joaquin himself came from a privileged family and/or that he is a product of a series of brainwashing and mental colonization done by the Americans when they established the public school system in the Philippines. The book failed to investigate the Dagohoy rebellion and its significance in later revolutions.

What I liked about the book though is that it is very well-written, making it hard to put down. For this, the author really lives up to his title as National Artist for Literature. He writes unapologetically about the heroes we so admire in Philippine history, showing their great blemishes when in highschool all we ever know is their greatness and love for country. Nick Joaquin even goes far as to question that love. Is it really for the Motherland? What is referred to as Motherland? 

The book touches on well-known personalities in the Philippines' pantheon of heroes and delving deep into controversies thus offering more insights into the humanity of these persons whose lives the average Filipino only reads from heavily purged textbooks. It touches on accidental heroes like Jacinto Zamora, on cowardly heroes like Graciano Lopez-Jaena who was unable to act on what he espoused, on arrogant and power-hungry heroes like Andres Bonifacio and Emilio Aguinaldo, on duplicitous and manipulative heroes like Apolinario Mabini, on heroes lost in time like Artemio Ricarte who brought the Japanese into the Philippines to drive out the Americans, and many more interesting stories.

We call them heroes. But how do we really define heroism? What makes a person a hero?

I remember as a college student and keeping an active blog on the now defunct Multiply site, a big figure in the History Department commented on what I wrote (if I remember correctly it was a review of the National Museum).  Curious, I visited his Multiply site and found out that it was Dr. Zeus Salazar, proponent of the Pantayong Pananaw, an intellectual movement that calls for indigenized social science perspective as opposed to the more popular Western positivist stances. In one of his writings, he differentiated between a "hero" and a "bayani". The first, for him, refers to someone with courage, wisdom, and strength. The latter is characterized by his/ her sacrifice and concern for others. Bayani is rooted in the word bagani which means warrior, someone who is ready to lay down his life to protect others. 

In A Question of Heroes, we glimpse the selfish interests these "heroes" had and I think it is interesting and will make for a good debate on whether they are mere heroes or are worthy to be called "bayani".

On second thought, I recall a wonderful conversation I had with a fellow volunteer in the mapping project. He is a Psychology graduate and he points out that we the people at present times must not judge too harshly the people of the past because as the events unfolded before them, they were characters within a story wherein the ending is unknown, unlike us who at present, know well what would transpire. Put in the same shoes in the same historical context, would we know what to choose, how to act, whom to trust?

2015 Week 51

The week prior, we have been complaining about the heat. This week, there was too much rainfall because of two typhoons that entered PAR. All this as the COP21 was happening in Paris and the leaders are leaving the indigenous peoples out of the picture in the discussions on global warming mitigation.

In the two weeks of continuous discussions and negotiations, a big flood in the Southern Indian city of Chennai claimed 300 lives and destroyed both residential and commercial structures. This should be an important lesson for humanity and everyone should be extra mindful of how humans are contributing to the gradual destruction of the earth. 

It reminds me of the seminar I attended two weeks before where a presenter passionately argued against geoengineering saying that while it is a brilliant idea in the history of human civilization, we should look more to natural ways because in the long run, it is only nature's own devices which will be for the best. This echoes my firm belief in Mother Nature's self-healing methods so upon hearing those words of hers, I almost cried at the thought that finally, an architect who understands the dynamics between nature and the built environment!

The rainfall in recent days caused many to question why we are experiencing typhoons in December, an occurrence that never happened before. Now if only people were closing in on the climate talks instead of being preoccupied with Aldub and other showbiz nonsense! (*Facepalm) 

On the 15th, just coming from an almost-fever after exhausting myself in Laguna last weekend, I found myself braving the icky floods in Balintawak after attending the first of the series of Simbang Gabi this year. It already sucks going home wet but it sucks even more to see your favorite green pants suddenly turn into yellowish brown because of the floodwaters. Sigh! People in the Philippines are too conscious of their personal hygiene but cannot go beyond their bodies. The environment suffers as a result of wanton garbage disposal. I don't know if I have any right to complain since I do not partake of any actions to educate the stupid masses of the importance of keeping the surroundings clean. On the other hand, shouldn't it be first the government, second the school's responsibility to do that??? And another voice inside my head cynically retorts that since when can we rely on the government to mobilize the masses for a common good? And schools nowadays have become factories of certificates and have stopped being institutions of real learning.

[Allow me to insert one of my favorite paragraphs in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig, a book that I almost dropped off my to-read list until I browsed the latter pages and found interesting takes on real education among other philosophical musings:

 "The real University, he said, has no specific location. It owns no property, pays no salaries and receives no material dues. The real University is a state of mind. It is that great heritage of rational thought that has been brought down to us through the centuries and which does not exist at any specific location. It's a state of mind which is regenerated throughout the centuries by a body of people who traditionally carry the title of professor, but even that title is not part of the real University. The real University is nothing less than the continuing body of reason itself.

"But this second university, the legal corporation, cannot teach, does not generate new knowledge or evaluate ideas. It is not the real University at all. It is just a church building, the setting, the location at which conditions have been made favorable for the real church to exist." ]

And there are so many problems in this world that we need to address. So many intertwined problems, a hypernetwork of problems that we inherited from the previous generations whose lack of foresight made the world what it is today. [And the relationships among these problems are so convoluted I always get a headache thinking about them and how to address them.] So it shall fall on today's generation to undo all these shit, which is next to impossible so the only recourse is to be less of a burden to the world and be more of a good example for others. Except, when you exhibit qualities and possess opinions different from the masses, you will be treated with contempt and ridicule. In moments like this, I am always reminded of the cruel fate my favorite PH hero Antonio Luna suffered, at the hands of fellow [read: STUPID, SELFISH, PRETENTIOUS] Filipinos no less.

So I rant again... Just yesterday we were finally done with the team Christmas party. Thank God for that. And I got what I wrote down in my wishlist: a copy of Ang Diablo sa Filipinas, originally by Isabelo delos Reyes and translated into English and Filipino. One of the translators was Benedict Anderson whose work Under Three Flags was a treasure I found in one of the libraries in UP and which I read for PI 100 class even though it was not part of the required readings. (Because I was so poor I couldn't afford to have photocopies of the required readings...) He died just last December 13, so God bless his soul.

Ramona

Still haven't finished reading "Ramona", a novel set in the late 19th century Southern California by Helena Hunt Jackson. It revolves around the tragic love affair between a half-Indian adopted by an elite family and a talented Indian in an era when Indians were oppressed and discriminated against.

It is notable that in this novel, priests are regarded as benevolent missionaries who protect the Indians. In fact the antagonists in the novel, though not really the main focus of the story, are the white Americans (because the term "American" disputedly refers to America's original inhabitants, the Native Indians... And I share the same thought) whose landgrabbing activities and propensity for disturbing peace in the land cause the natives to flee and be slaves in their own ancestral lands. This, by the way, is an issue that the Philippines has also been facing as news reports of lumad (indigenous people) killings are increasing again.

Aside from providing a picture of the plight of the natives, Jackson also offers insights on the inner workings of human minds. Much of the narrative presents the different points of view of the characters but more so of the Señora Moreno, a complex character with whom anyone can easily hate and sympathize with at the same time.

On this note, I want to quote parts of the book:

"There is nothing so skillfull in its own defenses as imperious pride. It has an ingenious system of its own, of reprisals, --- a system so ingenious that the defeat must be sore indeed, after which it cannot still find some booty to bring off! And even greater than this ingenuity at reprisals is its capacity for self-deception. In this regard, it outdoes vanity a thousandfold. Wounded vanity knows when it is mortally hurt; and limps off the field, piteous, all disguises thrown away. But pride carries its banner to the last; and fast as it is driven from one field unfurls it in another, never admitting that there is a shade less honora in the second field than in the first, or in the third than in the second; and so on till death. It is impossible not to have a certain sort of admiration for this kind of pride. Cruel, those who have it, are to all who come in their way; but they are equally cruel to themselves, when pride demands the sacrifice. Such pride as this had led many a forlorn hope, on the earth, when all other motives have died out of men's breasts; has won many a crown, which has not been called by its true name." (p. 150)

 The context: the Señora found out that Ramona, her adopted child, wss having an affair with Alessandro the Indian. For this, she kept herself busy devising ways on how to separate the two.

"But surfaces are deceitful, and eyes see little. Considering its complexity, the fineness and delicacy of its mechanism, the results attainable by the human eye seem far from adequate to the expenditure put upon it. We have flattered ourselves by inventing proverbs of comparison in matter of blindness, ---'blind as a bat' for instance. It would be safe to say that there cannot be found in the animal kingdom a bat, or any other creature,so blind in its range of circumstances and connections, as thegreater majority of human beings are in the bosoms of their families. Tempers strain and recover, hearts break and heal, strength falters, fails, and comes near to giving way altogether, everyday, without being noted by the closest lookers-on."

The context: the peace in the Moreno household was disrupted by the "scandalous" love affair and a maid named Margarita observes with great interest as to what is happening about, being Alessandro's jilted lover, but is surprised when Ramona, Señora Moreno, and her son Felipe all acted as if nothing happened as they went about their usual ways, dining together.

Personally, the last sentence struck a chord. I think of the Light again, how oblivious I was that she was in pain, that she was keeping something from us, maintaining a brave front and continuing to work as if all that work were nothing. It was only later on, early this year, when she started to complain about her legs aching. Being reminded of those moments make me feel guilty Because in the end, I could do nothing for her. And she has always been my biggest cheerleader and supporter, the one person who never tired of me.

So now in everything I do, I will do my best. When my strength falters, I will remember her pushing me, always telling me to reach my fullest potential, to strive for excellence and achieve my dreams. I just want to make her proud now as she watches over us from Heaven.

Last Pages of "Adapt"

Continuing where I left off last night since it was already past midnight and I wasn't able to finish the last few pages, I am spending this night contemplating on again throwing my life to the winds. I was a bit bothered when I was on page 280 because I thought Harford would be espousing the traditional view of securing your life and protect yourself from risks.

"Pluralism matters becausenlife is not worth living without new experiences- new people, new places, new challenges. But discipline matters too: we cannot simply treat life as a psychedelic trip through a random series of novel sensations. We must sometimes commit to what is working: to decide that the hobby we are pursuing is worth mastering; that it's time to write that novel, or strive for that night-school degree; or maybe to get married. Equally important: sometimes we need to make the opposite kind of commitment, and decide that the toxic job and the toxic boyfriend are simply not worth the amount of life they cost." (p. 280)

Harford goes on to say how much people look up to those few who can take wild leaps in life, but also briefly mentions how habits formed after many years of working toward a goal yield masterpieces, citing important figures in art and literature. He cautions against wandering around "the lower reaches of various mountain ranges" and getting too carried away by novelty that distraction is sure to set you off the the ultimate target path.

And I heaved a sigh of relief as I savor the paragraphs that follow:

"(...) a world of possibilities, of safe experiements- is one we tend to lose. But we need not: the new possibilities are always out there. It's one thing to be committed; it's another to trap ourselves unnecessarily. Perhaps we become more shy of experimenting as we get older because we become more aware of the truth that (...) in a complex world, we're unlikely to get it right the first time. To embrace the idea of adapting in everyday ñife seems to be to accept blundering into a process of unremitting failure. So it's worth remembering again why it is worth experimenting, even though so many experiments will, indeed, end in failure. It's because the process of correcting the mistakes can be more liberating than the mistakes themselves are crushing, even though at the time we so often feel that the reverse is true. (...) A single experiment that succeeds can transform our lives for the better in a way that a failed experiment will not transform them for the worse- as long as we don't engage in denial or chase our losses." (pp. 282-283)

I love how positive Harford is to being open and to being courageous without being overbearing. In fact, he closes the book with the following wise words after sharing an anecdote abput how his three-year old daughter got lost in the center of London without the slightest fear as she explored on her own:

"The ability to adapt requires this sense of security, an inner confidence that the cost of failure is a cost we will be able to bear. Sometimes that takes real courage; at other times all that is needed is the happy self-delusion of a lost three-year-old. Whatever its source, we need that willingness to risk failure. Without it, we will never truly succeed." (p. 284)

**********************************

Now on to throwing my life to winds again. I feel so much better reading this book. Sometimes you know what to do but you need some sort of support from a stranger knowing that under the vast heavens there still are individuals who think the same way as you do and you don't feel so alone.

When the Inner Critic is Not Enough

Tonight as I read the last chapters of Adapt (by Tim Harford), I gained more confidence on what I have been doing thus far in ny life. I have never been interested in self-help or inspirational books and I almost ignored this book at Booksale except I got curious and leafed through the book, which was a good decision, and decided it's worth occupying a space in my collection.

How timely that at the moment when I am facing a tough challenge I should be reading this. The universe indeed is a funny place and the fates always have a way of bringing us what we need at the appropriate time. We just need to listen to those little voices from deep within.

For instance, now on page 277, I just have to stop and blog to write about how the critic in us can most of the time, fail us, and how we need to surround ourselves with the right people who have the courage to tell us ugly truths to our face and who trust that we can recover from a bruised ego.

"We need whistleblowers in our own lives to warn us about the 'latent errors' that we have made and which are just waiting to catch us out. In short, we all need a critic, and for most of us the inner critic is not nearly frank enough. We need someone who can help us hold those two jostling thoughts at the same time: I am not a failure- but I have made a mistake."

Because most of the time we think we're all high and mighty, we have a set of ideals and as much as possible we'd like to think we follow these ideals as we navigate through this very complex world. But then again when self-righteousness takes centerstage, you try to justify everything even though deep inside of you you know it's wrong, or a no-win situation. Most times it's easy to get carried away because of a quick apparent happiness but which is doomed from the beginning. The human brain is a marvel, it's something that conjures awesome ideas but it sadly also has the capacity to self-destruct.

Psychologists have what they call cognitive dissonance, that ugly, inconvenient situation in which the mind finds it hard to reconcile two contradictory thoughts simultaneously. When faced with such a challenge, one either engages in denial or chase after losses, or go into "hedonic editing" mode. (The latter term was coined by Richard Thaler, author of Nudge.) Denial occurs when we dismiss outside criticism and attempt to silence it. Chasing after losses contribute to more losses as one tries to erase past mistakes. Hedonic editing is when we convince ourselves that the mistakes do not matter.

So thinking of my recent conversations with friends, I feel thankful to have people who can admonish me and believe in my inner strength. They know that I know when I am having mistakes but they emphasize them not to hurt me but to illustrate a point, that there is room for improvement, that there is something I need to work on lest I regret it later. And I'd rather hear awkward truths than listen to hollow praises. No wonder lately I enjoy the company of people older than me.

March Reads

A few days to go until we say goodbye to March. Some plans were cancelled, DELIBERATELY cancelled and forgottten most especially those related to cleaning up our room. This month I went back to buying books because... I simply can't resist the wonderful finds in Booksale. I'm afraid I am guilty of 積ん読, that weird habit of amassing books without reading them. Well I do read a few pages while in the bookstore to see if the book is worth my hard-earned money and most of the time they are so the next thing I know I am walking out of the store with a lot of books on my hands. 

This month I'm happy to have finished reading one wonderful book related to FOOD. It's the first time that I read such a book. John Mariani's How Italian Food Conquered the World is a deliciously written history of Italian food en bref. It narrates how the food was in Roman times, how before there was no such thing as Italian cuisine, only regional cookings which were diverse and very different from each other. Mariani traced the evolution of the so-called Italian cuisine from its humble beginnings in trattorias to how it eventually replaced French cuisine as an epitome of fine dining as the social elite began patronizing it and dining at fancy restaurants became the IT thing. It is interesting to see how the lives of various Italians change as Italian cooking slowly gained its place in America, and as the title of the book says, how Italian food conquered not just America but the world.

Right now I'm alternating between E.D. Hirsch's The Schools We Need and Why We Don't Have Them and Ben Kiernan's The Pol Pot Regime. The first is written in a very academic way and the ideas presented are a bit shocking since the author attacks the views of the Romanticists (whom I admire) with regards to education. The second is a heartbreaking account of what happened during that terrible era in Cambodian history when many innocents were killed in the name of a twisted ideology. That and from time to time browsing some French books lest I forget my French. (I came across two old French men in Bohol and they were surprised when I replied to them in their language LOL. I just love seeing the look on Westerners' faces when they see an East Asian-looking girl speak European languages. PRICELESS!)

And I have yet to start Game of Thrones season 3. My friends are all telling me to watch it already since season 4 will be aired next month. I only wish there were 30 hours a day instead of 24. Tsk. 引き籠もり on the horizon and I am more than tempted to file a one-week leave just to do the things I want need to do.

Okay... I will try to at least arrange my books this month...

Dead Poets Society (1989)

Just finished watching Dead Poets Society, a 1989 movie drama about an English teacher named John Keating (played by no other than Robin Williams) who was out to inspire his students by way of poetry--- romantic poetry to be precise. The only problem is that the school values tradition and Keating's unorthodoxy posed a problem when students caused trouble. One somehow got his article published in the school newspaper, the gist of which is that the school should accept girls alongside boys. But things got serious when a student committed suicide because his father decided to transfer him to a military school instead after seeing him in a play. Keating was made a scapegoat so the students will be able to continue on with their lives and save themselves from expulsion.

When I first heard the title of this movie, I thought it was another one of those stupid horror movies or psychological thrillers. It's a good thing I discovered Robin Williams played the major role and so I was assured that it's no horror flick. Dead Poets Society is actually the name of the club formed by Keating's students. The members meet in a cave at night to discuss poetry and most times goof around.

As a former teacher (and still aspiring to be a teacher again), I can very well relate to John Keating. We're both romanticists and care little for pragmatism (though a professor of mine once described me as pragmatic... Well yes, I can be that, too, but I still am more of a romanticist). Romanticism, after all, is all about passion, the search for truth and beauty, the search for individual freedom, characterized by non-conformity. I find it a delight to hear quotes from the likes of Shakespeare, Lord Byron, Robert Frost, and Henry David Thoreau.

I remember that one semester when I taught Spanish in a university. Since it was my first time to teach at the collegiate level, I was more than eager to share what I know to my students, to take it as an opportunity to inspire those who are younger than me. I was 22 then and many of my students didn't respect me at first. But whenever I speak Spanish in front of them, whenever I tell them a little about archaeology, whenever I excitedly tell them about the latest book I've enjoyed, I could see jaws drop and eyes sparkle. I must seemed like a cool nerd to them. Maybe it's just my illusion but things became easier when they got to know more about me, like how I could be strict but compassionate, just but merciful. Most of my students were graduating at that time. I was touched when some told me how they appreciated having me as their teacher, how they learned a lot not just Spanish but about life in general. As my first students, they have a special place in my heart. They taught me about perseverance, determination, and humility (and occasional jokes, and that it's okay to be me... childlike and with my own set of quirky idiosyncrasies.)

When I heard news of how students are made to pay exorbitant fees and how some of these fees are not even explained to them, I encouraged them to challenge this. Education is getting more and more commercialized and especially in a private school, many students pay for things they do not really need. The last straw was discovering that fellow teachers extort money from students in exchange for passing grades. I was shocked beyond words and then I decided that that's it, I'm having none of this. That school was not where I belong. At that time, I didn't think that challenging the system would bear good fruits since all teachers I knew were identified by my students as unscrupulous. I never felt so alone.

So I exited, but without the touchingly beautiful ending in Dead Poets Society, where Keating's students stood on their desk one by one as an act of defiance to the headmaster and as a final respect for the man who led them to believe in freedom and truth and beauty. I exited in silence, submitting my letter of resignation on the last day I inputted my students' grades. I never told my students I would be gone the following semester.

Right above is the proud look on Keating's face after seeing that finally his students knew how to stand up for what they believe in.

I'm so inspired to be a teacher again...

Giselle @CCP/ The Octopus 08172013

Last Saturday I woke up to a gloomy day so I continued reading "The Octopus" by Frank Norris. The book is surprisingly a good read. I first had an impression that it would bore me to death when I saw it in Booksale but I bought it anyway. It's about the resistance put up by farmers in California against the monopolistic land-grabbing Railroad and thrown in the narrative are human tendencies for violence, corruption, and oppression.  It's a good read during these times with the issues revolving around the pork barrel.

Just to share a passage from the book, taken from Presley's speech:

"They own us, these task-masters of ours; they own our homes, they own our legislatures. We cannot escape from them. There is no redress. We are told we can defeat them by the allot-box. They own the ballot-box. We are told that we must look to the courts for redress; they own the courts. We know them for what they are, --- ruffians in politics, ruffians in finance, ruffians in law, ruffians in trade, bribers, swindlers, and tricksters. No outrage too great to daunt them, no petty larceny too small to shame them; despoiling a government treasury of a million dollars; yet picking the pockets of a farm hand of the price of a loaf of bread.

"They swindle a nation of a hundred million and call it Financiering; they levy a blackmail and call it Commerce; they corrupt a legislature and call it Politics;they bribe a judge and call it Law; they hire blacklegs to carry out their plans and call it Organisation; they prostitute the honor of a State and call it Competition.

"(...) We talk of liberty--- oh, the farce of it, oh, the folly of it! We tell ourselves and teach our children that we have achieved liberty, that we no longer need to fight for it. Why, the fight is just beginning and so long as our conception of liberty remains as it is to-day, it will continue.

"(...) Liberty is not a crowned goddess, beautiful, in spotless garments, victorious, supreme. Liberty is the Man In the Street, a terrible figure, rushing through powder smoke, fouled with the mud and ordure of the gutter, bloody, rampant, brutal, yelling curses, in one hand a smoking rifle, in the other, a blazing torch.

"Freedom is not given free to any who ask; Liberty is not born of the gods. She is a child of the People, born in the very height and heat of battle, born from death, stained with blood, grimed with powder. And she grows to be not a goddess, but a Fury, a fearful figure, slaying friend and foe alike, raging, insatiable, merciless, the Red Terror." (pp.551-552)

I didn't get to finish the book (and as of writing I'm still a few pages shy from finishing but I'm busy with work, you see). Anyway, I committed one blooper perhaps because I was so engrossed with "The Octopus". I forgot that the ballet performance was at 2pm and not at 3pm. It was already 1:15PM so I ran out of the house and took the LRT. It was raining but who cares? I bought my ticket and I'm not gonna miss it despite the rain. Once I stepped out of the train, I ran down to Vito Cruz and ran all the way to CCP never minding the rain on my face. I was 15 minutes late but I still got to have a seat. Whew!

So I did get to watch the tragic story of Giselle who fell in love with a man who turns out to be a duke already engaged. She dies of too much heartbreak when she learned the truth after a brief period of bliss with her beloved.

But the beautiful choreography was highlighted in Act 2 where, even without words, the duke sought forgiveness and one could see with every step and every dance move the intensity of this scene. Giselle, despite everything, forgives him and even protects him form the harsh punishment due him by the Wilis, jilted lovers who seek vengeance.

One thing that disappoints is that live music was not used. I was expecting to witness again the magnificence of the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra but the audience of the 2pm show was denied this. I wonder if the 7pm performance was treated to PPO's presence?

I was reminded of the ballet musical show Rama Hari last 2012. The Manila Symphonic Orchestra played live then and one member of the orchestra stood out: the one who played the drums.

Pardon my crappy phone pics...

Broca's Brain: Reflections on the Romance of Science (Carl Sagan)

I find it weird that I have suddenly become interested in science books when I got out of school. I guess my brain craves something other than the usual literary forms I grew up with. Lately, fiction has taken the backseat after dominating 15 years of my life.

Since I became engrossed with chaos theory, I would often find myself buying science books from Booksale. For some reason, my lack of science courses in college gave me this thirst, this feeling that my education lacks something essential for me to have a clearer grasp of the natural world. One of the books I bought is Carl Sagan's Broca's Brain, which struck me at first as a sci-fi novel. (I didn't know any scientist named Broca, that's why!)

One thing I like about the book is that it is written for the lay reader, for those like me who are not science majors. The book on the whole is very engaging as Sagan not only focuses on scientific findings and discoveries but also touch on myths and pseudoscience. Reading the introduction part, one is already tempted to read the book from cover to cover in just one sitting. There's just this excitement that I felt when I read the following words:

"We live in an extraordinary age. These are times of stunning changes in social organization, economic well-being, moral and ethical precepts, philosophical and religious perspectives, and human self-knowledge, as well as in our understanding of that vast universe in which we are embedded like a grain of sand in this cosmic ocean. As long as there have been human beings, we have posed the deep and fundamental questions, which evoke wonder and stir us into at least a tentative and trembling awareness, questions on the origins of consciousness; life on our planet; the beginnings of the Earth; the formation of the Sun; the possibility of intelligent beings somewhere up there in the depths of the sky; as well as, the grandest inquiry of all--- on the advent, nature and ultimate destiny of the universe. For all but the last instant of human history these issues have been the exclusive province of philosophers and poets, shamans and theologians. The diverse and mutually contradictory answers offered demonstrate that few of the proposed solutions have been correct. But today, as a result of knowledge painfully extracted from nature, through generations of careful thinking, observing and experimenting, we are on the verge of glimpsing at least preliminary answers to many of these questions."

In Broca's Brain, Carl Sagan successfully captures the attention of readers to hear the side of science as he tackles major claims made by pseudoscientists. In particular, he debunks Immanuel Velikovsky's Worlds in Collisions which explains why catastrophes were experienced by ancient cultures, as reflected in their myths and religions. After a detailed critique, Sagan suggests that science should not be kept in an ivory tower and should be demystified so that technological initiatives can be supported by the people since scientific research is expensive and more often than not, funds are sourced from the taxes that dutiful citizens pay.

Sagan also offers a personal snippet of his life as he traces his early interests in science through science fiction, though he has come to think that science is way cooler than fiction. While sci-fi is too romantic and too full of speculations, he notes one benefit of sci-fi is that it becomes an avenue through which readers can learn bits and pieces of scientific knowledge. He is quick to point out though that one downside to science students having been exposed to sci-fi would have prejudices which would be difficult to detach from when they do their own experiments.

Another point of interest in the book is how the celestial objects got their names, as well as the widely debated extraterrestrial life. At the end of the book, Sagan juxtaposes sciences to religion, touching on the question of origins and which inevitably would lead to the question of whether God exists or not. To this question, Sagan plays it safe by saying that "we simply do not know" (p. 337) quoting the passage below from the Rig Veda:

"Who knows for certain? Who shall here declare it?

Whence was it born, whence came creation?

The gods are later than this world's formation;

Who then can know the origins of the world?

None knows whence creation arose;

And whether he has or has not made it;

He who surveys it from the lofty skies,

Only he knows--- or perhaps he knows not."

Statecraft: And How to Restore America's Standing in the World (Dennis Ross)

The first time I laid eyes on Statecraft: And How to Restore America's Standing in the World, I rolled my eyes and thought, another one of those bullshit books about America as savior of the world! Really! It's bad enough that Marvel Comics created Captain America, that character hero of the World War. I hadn't thought of buying the book at first but curiosity got the better of me. I randomly leafed through a few pages, just to see if there's something worth my while in it and when I saw sections on the discussion of statecraft, I was sold.

Statecraft, as defined by US diplomat Dennis Ross (also author of the book), is the "use of the assets or the resources and tools (economic, military, intelligence, media) that a state has to pursue its interests and to affect the behavior of others, whether friendly or hostile (p.2)." As such, it "involves making sound assessments and understanding where and on what issues the state is being challenged and can counter a threat or create a potential opportunity or take advantage of one  (p.2)."

With the definition established, Ross gathers cases wherein statecraft is practiced, both successfully and unsuccessfully. Starting with the German Uuification in NATO to the Serbian conflict and to the political chaos in the Middle East, Ross examines and evaluates how America positions itself in each case while inserting short discussions of two important tools in statecraft: negotiation and mediation. From the cases stated, he offers examples of both good and bad examples of statecraft practice.

Ross concludes with how America can deal with China whose booming economy is causing it to rise as a major global power. He reiterates and emphasizes again the basics of statecraft: clear objectives tied to reality, clear and realistic means to achieve the objectives, recognizing key points of leverage, and timely consulting with key persons involved.

While this book focuses more on state-level cases, I think an average person would appreciate this book as it can also serve as a guide to negotiations and dealings in life. (Aside from that, it also allows readers to have glimpses of what diplomats really do and how they do their job.) Still, I am not sold to the idea that America is the hope of the world. Methinks it is the scourge of the world.

Some Thoughts on "A Game of Thrones"

WARNING: This may contain spoilers. Don't say I didn't warn you.

So I finally finished reading George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones. I have to admit that I was at first hesitant to read it, fearing another Twlight-like hype which would turn out to be utterly disappointing. And because HBO created TV series based on Martin's works, I told myself that I'd watch the series first and if I liked it, I would read the book, too.

And because I was instantly a fan of the series after watching the pilot episode, I saw myself fishing for a free e-book. (I cannot buy more books at present given that I still have MANY I have yet to read and storage is becoming a problem.) My wish was granted and every time I'm free, I read. I find it an easy read, compared to other fantasy genre books I grew up with. Aside from that, one difference is that Martin's books has sex in it, but not as graphic as to be labelled as pornographic. (The only fantasy book where I encountered sex would probably be Thomas the Covenant by Donaldson.)

Game of Thrones Season 1 is happily faithful to the original. I could easily recall the scenes in the series while reading the book. No wonder the first season has gained a lot of fans, fans who probably first read the book before watching the series. But the one thing that the book has advantage over the series is that in the book, we see that the novel as a whole is composed of stories from different characters' point of view. As such, we are invited to each character's thoughts and feelings. The fears of a young widow who had briefly enjoyed a blissful marriage with a powerful lord, the feeling of belonging to nowhere from a young bastard, the contempt of a man who has to live with physical deformity, etc. It is hard not to like many characters for in one way or the other we can relate to them through their hardships. Another brilliance I see in Martin's work is that each character has a certain dynamism to him/ her that it will leave you guessing how far a character will retain his/ her admirable traits. 

And with the number of characters, it is indeed hard to see who really is the main hero, if ever there is a main hero at all. Yours truly has read but one of the five books so I do not have the authority to comment about the book yet. But based on the title of the series A Song of Ice and Fire, I will have to guess that at least two of my favorite characters are central to the whole story: Jon Snow (Ice) and Daenerys Targaryen (Fire). (Of course I might be mistaken. And yes, I fight every urge to google anything about GoT because as advised by my friends who were already established fans even before I watched the series, the internet is full of spoilers. So I try to avoid them like the plague.)

Moreover, these two characters started out as underdogs. Snow is the bastard son of Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell, often ridiculed by people and given the cold shoulder by Catelyn Tully, the legitimate wife of Lord Eddard. Dany, on the other hand, was first portrayed as meek and wholly obedient to her vicious brother Viserys but gradually transforms into a strong woman as she experiences many difficulties. In addition, the desires of both remain to be fulfilled. Among the principal characters, these two have the most ambitious desires. Snow dreams of holding his father's sword Ice one day, but he has five half-siblings before him. Dany dreams of reclaiming the Iron Throne which she thinks should be hers by right, as a Targaryen. How can she do it when her husband has passed away and her army is but just a group of a few weak people and her dragons still weak and small? She has to survive through the ordeals first and patently wait for the day her dragons become powerful enough to fight her battles.

Other characters of interest are Arya Stark, daughter of Eddard and Catelyn, half-sibling to Jon Snow, and Tyrion Lannister, a dwarfish man who fights with his wits. A tomboy, she is very different from her elder sister Sansa who always tries to be prim and proper. At the end of the book and the series, she witnesses her father being beheaded in public and is carried off by a familiar friend who will take her to Winterfell. I eagerly anticipate her reunion with her pet wolf Nymeria. (Yes I firmly believe their parting is temporary.) Tyrion, always ridiculed because of his deformity, is born to the scheming and power-hungry House Lannister. Despite this, he seems to be the only Lannister who is thoughtful of others. For that, it makes one wonder whose side he really is on.

There's a whole lot more to be written about Martin's works and I expect myself to read the other books as well. (I just hope he doesn't kill off my favorite characters. I fear he has a tendency to decide that a supposedly major character must die, as what he did to Eddard Stark. And watching the series, I was kinda hoping that something divine and supernatural would intervene but then off his head gets chopped and for a moment I felt as though I lost all my strength, like Sansa and Arya. This made me believe that anybody can get killed, that this is an unusual work where honorably good men die.) As of writing, I am already on episode 5 of the TV series' season 2. Season 2 is very different in that suddenly empowered female characters are emerging one by one.

March 2013

Compared to February, March this year is pretty lax as I am made more aware of my financial conditions following my many travels in such a short period of time. My Hong Kong trip last February ate up most of my savings. This was followed by my trip to Vietnam which is much cheaper, but which nevertheless contributed to more expenses. It’s still a good thing I was on duty on Holy Week as this may help in my finances.

I finally experienced sleeping over at a friend’s house last March. That was my first. My parents never allow me sleep at a friend’s house despite the many invitations I got. It was fun, I got to peek at my friend’s manga and DVD collections. It was just unfortunate that I didn’t consider bringing my 1TB external HDD; I could have procured copies of series and movies.

Before we got to her house, we spent some time at Timezone in Glorietta. It had been a long time since I was there, the last was when I was in my third year in college and a friend treated me to some games there. Prior to that, my last was way way back when I was a kid. I just can’t bring myself to spend money on something so trivial. I’d rather buy a book or spend on food, thus the rare visits to arcades. We then headed to Mercato Centrale in the Fort. It was my first time there, and also my first time to take the bus shuttle from Ayala Station. I used to get off at Guadalupe and just take a jeep. There are many weird foods there and the prices are not as steep. I love the flower-shaped nachos, strawberry basil ice cream, Chef Anton’s turkey, and the buffalo wings. Salmon and cheese paella, and Japanese Wagyu paella are not bad either. My friend told me about the ostrich meat which is a must, but it was getting late and we everybody was tired so we didn’t wait for it anymore. This experience reminded me of that one night when my officemates and I went to UP-Ayala Technohub Mezza Norte where I first experienced a weekend food market. The concept is awesome and it just beats dull food court fare in malls.

Because this month I bought a new laptop (Fujitsu), I need to find ways to save money and shun temporarily theatrcal performances. To somehow recuperate from my overspending, I seek entertainment in books, animé and movies. I finally watched X, an animé I have been putting off for so long. Also, I continue to watch My Date with a Vampire, easily the best Asian drama ever (so far). These days, ever since I quit school, I seem to have distanced myself from books, as I find myself taking too long to finish a book. This month, I’m determined to finish the extra verbose novel Lempriere’s Dictionary by Lawrence Norfolk which is not an easy read at all as it includes classical mythology aside from the convoluted mystery plot and dizzyingly beautiful historical references that one is inclined to suspect the book of being pretentious but anyway, it’s rare to find beautiful prose these days. And reading on, I became interested in the author himself so I checked his website and also read how he conceived Lempriere’s Dictionary and his other works which I plan to read should I find them in Booksale. [Maybe I ought to switch back to non-fiction.]

As for physical activity, I am embarrassed to admit that it has ceased suddenly perhaps owing to the fact that I became engrossed in non-physical activities. Brisk walking has been a quotidian activity but I would rather increase my activities to burn more fats (hopefully). Early this year I planned to take up dance lessons but the plan has not materialized yet.

In order to somehow cushion the financial blows following my monthly travels, I decided to go on budgetarian mode, making sure I have packed lunch for work or if not, just have veggies since these are not only cheaper but also healthier. I even bought promo canned goods in case there's no food for lunch. Still, my food lust is difficult to satiate as I found myself buying restaurant vouchers from Metrodeal. I availed Barbara's dinner buffet with dance performance with a post-graduate friend and Marina Restaurant's oyster promo with my sisters.

Barbara's buffet dinner was a bit disappointing as there are very few dishes and most fall below expectations. Chicken soup with shrimp head is so-so. The pancit bihon is surprisingly good. Chicken barbecue becomes hard when cooled. Beef caldereta unfortunately does not have veggies like carrots and potatoes. Fish fillet is too covered with bread crumbs. Grilled tanigue is bland. The desserts are a welcome treat in comparison to the main dishes, most especially the brazo de mercedes which melts in mouth with a hint of lemon. The brownies are chewy and moist and chocolates oozes out of it, thereby delighting the senses. But I guess what we really look forward to here actually is the dance performance. I am reminded of the breathtaking performance at Las Casas de Acuzar. 

Marina's red hot oysters are heavenly. I just love the cheese and the spices are just right. Alongside the promo, we also ordered bagoong rice and pinakbet Truth be told, we found the food extra pricey when we couldn't find anything special in it.

For my brother's birthday, we had dinner at Uncle Cheffy (Eton Centris). Food was disappointingly sad though service was okay. Among the food that we ordered, I love only Spaghetti Alejandrino (red sauce with Spanish chorizo). Beef steak is okay,too, but the serving is too small. Asian fried rice doesn't taste Asian to me, but my sisters loved it.

I couldn't believe that I would be assisting in an excavation this year, I thought I had zero chance since I am no longer an archaeology student. I was informed of the AIA near Sta. Ana Church and on March 17, I went there to assist in accessioning the collected artifacts. I miss digging!!! What is bad in urban archaeology is that you go home after a day's work and work is not that continuous compared to excavation in far flung areas. During lunch break, I walked around the area and took pictures of the church, something which I have been putting off for so long. We went back to UP afterwards and my friend and I shared an order of pasta at Friuli's, my first time to try the restaurant.

Top: Santa Ana Church
second row (from left): plaza fountain, test pits, Chinese temple
third row (from left): Santa Ana Market, preserved tree inside Savemore, preserved trench in Savemore showing walls made of adobe

Working from home during Holy Week, I was finally able to clean our room and arrange my books things and to throw away garbage that occupy too much space. Yes, I am a clutterbug and the four-day holiday was too short to ever do the things I wanted to do for our bedroom.