25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 3 of 3)

Post-Valentine post will be continuation of my Valentine Project this year.

Continuing from Part 2

18. 許茹芸 獨角戲
For the inconsolable, being alone reminiscing the old times and being a bit more dramatic than ever is the way to cure a broken heart... (First listened to this song when I was young and it seemed to automatically play in my mind whenever I find myself uh... broken. So adopt this as your sentimental song as well.)

沒有星星的夜裡　我把往事留給你

如果一切只是演戲　要你好好看戲

心碎只是我自己

19. Wands- 世界が終わるまでわ
Get a high upon listening to this song's powerful intro, celebrate a "tragedy night" and cry as the song finishes. Don't you just love the powerful drums and guitar? (Watch the live performance but never mind the singer's appearance, just focus on the song and the guitar riff right after the second chorus! I wish I could see this song performed live as I have always imagined it to be in my mind...)

世界が終わる前に　聞かせておくれよ 

満開の花が　似合いの Catastrophe 

誰もが望みながら　永遠を信じない 

・・・なのに　きっと　明日を夢見てる 

はかなき日々と　この Tragedy Night 

20. 白鳥英美子- Melodies of Life
Forever a favorite. My most favorite of all the Final Fantasy songs. It's about holding on to memories. By all means watch the clip below and I... hope you cry (I'm sure you'll at least get teary-eyed!)

記憶の中の 手を振るあなたは

わたしの 名を呼ぶことが出来るの

21. 阿桑- 寂寞在唱歌
When loneliness sings, do you know what it sounds like? Its melody is soft but cruel. For good measure, listen to 阿桑's album of the same name.

天黑了　孤獨又慢慢割著　有人的心又開始疼了

22. Rikki- 素敵だね 
Another favorite from the Final Fantasy franchise rendered in a way that will crush any heart. Just the melody itself is enough, as expected from master composer 植松 伸夫. And this is another of those wonderful songs reminding people to beware illusions (which I think is the common theme in Japanese music).

その顔 そった触れて 

朝に溶ける 夢見る

22. KOH+- 最愛
Expect to be sad when listening to another case of unconditional love. Singer demands nothing from his/  her beloved though there is this deep desire to still him/ her again.
You may also see this live performance by 柴咲コウ or this one by her KOH+ partner 福山雅治. (Both of them are hot!!!)

愛さなくていいから 遠くで見守ってて

強がってるんだよ でも繋がってたいんだよ

あなたがまだ好きだから

23. 許茹芸- 心得
While many people brood over failed romances, this song actually uplifts one's spirits and instead of wallowing in self-pity, the singer convinces herself that whatever she learned from being brokenhearted can actually open to new possibilities. (And contrast this to #18 above!)

謝謝 每一個留下的傷痛

不要 懷恨他曾經那麼傷人

某天當你懂得打開心內一扇門

它會變成你對愛的心得

24.. Eagles- Desperado
This song struck a nerve the first time I listened to it. It tells one to open his/ her heart and to break down the barriers that keep him/ her from experiencing love. It is against the idea that being single is ultimate freedom, that being single is probably the loneliest thing in the world. (Ouch!)
Listen to Fujita Emi's version as well, which I like better. (Maybe I should create my own version entitled "Desperada"...)

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? 

Come down from your fences, open the gate 

It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you 

You better let somebody love you, before it's too lat

25. 桑田佳祐- 明日晴れるかな
The key to happiness is in one's heart. I like the tender music, but most especially the positive message of this song.

奇跡のドアを開けるのは誰?
微笑みよ　もう一度だけ
君は気付くでしょうか?
その鍵はもう 君の手のひらの上に

_________________
This took me one whole day to write because of very slow internet connection. Maybe it's fate's way of telling me that my romantic progress shall be slow and difficult. Ugh!


Previous: 25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 2 of 3)

25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 2 of 3)

And today is Valentine's Day... er 元宵節! 

So continuing from yesterday...

10. 佐藤 朱美- 分かっていたはず
This insert song from the hit shoujo series Fushigi Yuugi is about realizing how painful it can be to love someone and the two of you can't be together. What can be more tragic than that? And the opening lines to this song is enough to break your heart:

通り過ぎる/　恋人たちの笑い声 /胸をしめつける (...)

私には　わかっていたはず 
　愛したって　独り占め 　できないこと

11. Chage & Aska- Say Yes
Whenever I listen to this song I get different interpretations depending on my mood (or I may just be distracted from the wonderful mix of instruments) but normally I see it as a song by a lover persuading his beloved who seems to be hesitant about jumping into a relationship. 

君に逢いたくて逢えなくて寂しい夜 

星の屋根に守られて 

恋人のせつなさを知った 

12. 上木 彩矢- Youthful Diary
If you have a diary, you will certainly relate to this song which is like a diary entry on the day a juvenile romance ends.

駆けぬけてた高鳴ってた輝いてた あの日の記憶

初めてだった繋いだ手も 不器用で少し強引だったね

たぐり寄せて眠る いつの日にかyouthful diary

13. Celine Dion- Lettre de George Sand  à Alfred de Musset

A sentimental ballad about a lover about to leave her man, this song wishes for the beloved's happiness while asking him to still cherish their memories. (Mais garde-moi dans un petit coin secret de ton cœur, et descends-y dans tes jours de tristesse pour y trouver une consolation, ou un encouragement...), and to eventually love another woman. What sets this song apart is that it reminds the man to be extra cautious not to break a woman's heart, and that romantic failures shouldn't close one's heart to love.

Mais ton coeur, mais ton bon coeur, ne le tue pas, je t'en prie.
Qu'il se mette tout entier dans toutes les amours de ta vie,
afin qu'un jour tu puisses regarder en arrière
et dire comme moi, j'ai souffert souvent,
je me suis trompé quelquefois mais j'ai aimé.

14. 柴咲 コウ- 月のしずく
This is for the one who misses someone... and who appreciates wonderfully sad imagery in songs lyrics.

「恋しい…」と詠む言ノ葉は
そっと　今、天つ彼方
哀しみを月のしずくが　今日もまた濡らしてゆく

15. Guns n' Roses- November Rain
Awesome music and most especially the guitar solo by Slash makes this one of the best songs of all time for sentimental beings out there trying to woo their beloved.

So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain

Or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold November rain

16. White Noise- Kết Thúc
This often reminds me of gloomy Sunday afternoons when I would just stare out the windows. But this song is surely not about boredom, but about realizing too late that one still loves her partner and now she's sulking because she misses him so. 

Giờ lối ta đi sao lạnh lẽo vắng em chung con đường đó hát ca
Và bỗng giật mình thấy ta bồi hồi một nỗi nhớ mong em

17. Aerosmith- Hole in My Soul
Another favorite is Aerosmith's "Hole in My Soul", with lyrics that reflect a twisting kind of pain from being hurt by a loved one and which creates a kind of emptiness in one's being.

Tell me how it feels to be the one who turns the knife inside of me

Previous: 25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 1 of 3)
Next: 25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 3 of 3)

25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 1 of 3)

This 2014, I want to make Valentine's Day extra special by celebrating my 25 years of romantic solitude. I initially planned to pen poems but due to my frequent travels the month prior, I found myself having started nothing. So instead, I will share 25 songs with themes ranging from the forlorn lover to the rejected lover, to the celebration of freedom from being single and to the disdain for settling down too soon. I will also include very nice songs with a hopeful message.

1. Nymphea- Malaikatmu (Your Angel)

This song is about declaring one's identity as separated from being a docile lover. It reminds a partner not to be controlling and that one's freedom is of paramount importance.

Aku bukan malaikatmu

Yang akan selalu ada

Disampingmu sepanjang waktu

Ingin bebas

2. Lương Bích Hữu ft. Tam Hổ- Duyên Phận Ý Trời (Fated)

This song is about star-crossed lovers as dictated by tragic fate. Even the music video is enough to make one cry even though one doesn't understand the lyrics.

C yêu sao phải xa nhau, phải quên bao kí ức một thời
Chắc tại trời không muốn mình được gần nhau yêu nhau mà thôi

3. Zivilia- Setia (Faithful)

Like a wedding vow turned into a lovely song with nice lyrics, Setia is a song about promising to be faithful despite life's ups and downs until the very end.

Bersama dalam suka dan duka

Bersama dalam tangis dan tawa

Bersama dalam susah dan senang

Bersama melangkah seiring sejalan

Sampai hari ini ku masih setia

4. X-Japan- Endless Rain

This superb ballad about a broken heart with lyrics so depressing that one can definitely say that there is beauty in sadness. Watch the band perform live (below) before their breakup. It's one of the most passionate performances I have ever seen.

Click here for the PV.

It's a dream, I'm in love with you
まどろみ抱きしぬて

5. X-Japan- Say Anything

Again from X-Japan is another brilliant ballad about disillusionment from ideal love, a desperate plea after a separation. Also figuring in the song is madness and bitterness at being left behind.

明かりの消えたon the stage一人見つめて

通り過ぎた日々に抱かれる

壊してくれ何もかまかざった愛も

時の砂に消えるまで

6. Saint Ex- Je Pense à Toi

This is a sweet song about a girl who sings to her distant paramour of her promises to him.

Je pense à toi, égaré,

que tes pas soient plus légers

7. Jay Chou- 白色風車 (White Windmills)

The song is about parting after a very brief encounter, with the man persuading the girl not to think too much and to stay.

你說我若一個人會比較自由

我不懂妳說什麽反正不會鬆手

8. Baek Ah Yeon- 사랑학개론 (Introduction to Love)

I'm not a fan of anything Korean but if there is one thing I like, it's their ballads, most of which are sappy to the extreme. "Introduction to Love" explores a woman's awakened feelings of love for a special someone who taught her what love is.

난 두근 두근거려-요

사랑앞에서

9. MDO- Te quise olvidar
This song by boy band Menudo is about the inability to forget a girl even though he is already with another girl.

sigo noches frias buscandote en mi cuarto 
y no encuentro mas que un alma hecha pedazos 

Next: 25 Songs for 25 Years of Solitude (Part 2 of 3)

Kalibo-Boracay 0123272014

This is a lengthy post so places/ activities of interest are in red font for easy scanning for those who stumbled on this humble blog looking for things to do in Boracay or Kalibo.

Funny how fate can counter your plans with something wonderful. I never thought of going to Boracay because I thought of it as an overrated beach too much commercial activities that I wouldn't be able to find a peaceful place when in need of solitude. Last December though I won a two-night stay in Jony's Resort in Boracay and was congratulated much by my officemates. Being a budget traveler, I didn't know much about posh resorts and hotels since I only care about the cheapest lodgings in my target destinations. A quick research of Jony's Resort sold me to the idea of visiting Boracay. Shortly after, I was already asking my sisters when they would be comfortable to travel and by December 10, I had already booked our flights to Kalibo. Before 2013 ended I had already drafted our 3D4N itinerary and even arranged for our accommodation at Kalibo. Talk about getting excited.

Day 0
We left Manila late in the afternoon and arrived at Kalibo at around 7PM. My sisters spied a Chinese restaurant near the airport so we took out one seafood noodles (P180) and went straight to Center Parkway Pension House along Osmeña Avenue. Fan room for three costs just P750, though toilet is not private. It's a good thing we visited after the Ati-Atihan Festival and so there were not many tourists at that time.

Day 1
My sisters and I woke up before the breaking of dawn and went out of the hotel at 6AM. We spent a considerable amount of time in Pastrana Park after seeing the Aklan Freedom Shrine. While my sisters were busy taking pictures at Pastrana Park, I went inside Kalibo Cathedral just as mass was just about to start. Luckily mass was said in English although the sermon was a mix of English and Akalanon. After mass, we looked for a place to eat since Museo It Akean was not yet open at that time. My sisters had Special La Paz Batchoy while I had Chicken Arroz Caldo with egg.

Having filled our bellies, we looked around Museo It Akean. The first floor displays cultural items ranging from baskets to weapons to glass bottles and masks. At the time of visit, a temporary exhibition of embossed metal art known as Repujado by Liza Ann Acevedo-Ilagan was in place. (Repujar is a Spanish verb meaning to work on a metal using a hammer. In English, it means "to emboss" or "to work in relief".) The second floor was mostly of religious articles, with a special place for Cardinal Jaime Sin (1928-2005) since the cardinal was born in New Washington, Aklan, definitely one of the province's celebrities primarily for his role in the People Power Revolution which called for the descent of Marcos from power and again in the 2001 EDSA Revolution which put Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in power after the eruption of the jueteng scandal concerning then President Joseph Estrada. Aklan costumes and furniture also figure on the second floor as well as well-crafted dolls in colorful costumes.

There's a lot to learn in the museum, but the text-heavy displays can eat up one's time. One can see how Aklan and Kalibo got its name and how the feast of Ati-Atihan came to be a significant feast in the province. Also something of interest is the 19 Martyrs of Aklan, which if I remember is never present in history textbooks when I was in elementary and in highschool. It was in Aklan where the first and only Katipunan chapter outside of Luzon was organized. The 19 martyrs' death by execution for attempted rebellion sparked more uprisings against the abusive Spanish authorities.

We headed to Bakhawan Eco-park and Research Centre, a man-made mangrove area, where we enjoyed the fresh air while walking on bamboo bridges. I had a hard time walking on the bridge because of my fear of heights but I was able to join my sisters at the end where we got a very nice view of the Sibuyan Sea.We also watched how the tamilok are harvested and got to taste these wood worms. The taste is clean except when you get to the wood inside the worm so the trick is to remove the dark parts.

We had lunch at RML Manokan Haus. The oysters were BIG and only for P60 per order. Aside from that, we had roasted chicken wings, and grilled squid. Then off to our hotel to pack our things for Boracay. We boarded an AC Ceres bus to Caticlan Port (fare is P107) and travel time was 2 hours. At the port, one has to pay for the terminal and environmental fees amounting to P200 per person in addition to the P25 ferry fare.

Room for three. 1 twin bed and 1 single bed. I took the single bed and my sisters shared the other one.

We arrived in Boracay at around 3PM and checked in at Jony's Resort. My sisters loved the room where we stayed so I'm already happy with that. (I'm really not into fancy resorts or hotels, you see.) We spent some time in the beach since it was already about to get dark. A tour staff offered sunset parawsailing just as the sky turned orange so we took it and spent some 30 minutes out in the sea on a paraw at sunset. By the time we got back to the beach, the sun was already scattering its last orange rays for the day. Definitely a beauty! So it was then that I understood why Boracay is so popular. It's got the finest white sand I've ever seen and it's got a beautiful sunset. And so I promised myself I will be back soon.

Lady in white looking far into the sea reminded me of Penelope, faithful wife of Odysseus in Homer's epic Odyssey

We had dinner at Smoke Restaurant in D Mall and then shopped for quite some time. My sisters took a long time so I explored the immediate area and also tried Aria's gelato. I had Calamansi flavor and Stracciatella, both wonderfully delicious. Then off to Budget Mart to buy groceries, mainly a gallon of water, cup noodles, bread, and cheese.

Day 2
We were supposed to get up at 6AM to catch the sunrise but failed because the time on my phone adjusted to the correct one automatically. (It previously was an hour and a third advanced.) We immediately went down for our ATV/ Buggy ride and Trick Art Museum visit in Dreamland.

We came back to the resort just in time for our island-hopping tour, for me the highlight of this whole trip. We snorkeled near an island (forgot the name but it sounds like Calicoan...) but I was disappointed because fish was rarely seen probably because of the cold weather. Then we proceeded to Crystal Cove where I greatly enjoyed my long solitary trek on the island. The turquoise waters crashing against the rocks as seen from above were a sight to behold, not to mention the refreshingly cool breeze, a certain break from Manila's polluted air. Then off to Crocodile Island where we had our buffet lunch. Then to another island where fish was seen relatively more than in the first island though in my experience, nothing can compare to what I've seen in Honda Bay tour which I did last year. (No pics though because I have yet to buy an underwater camera.) Too bad we weren't able to go to Puka Beach due to the rough waves. My sisters wouldn't want to go far from the hotel so I didn't bother to raise the topic and just made a mental note to go there when I go back to Boracay.

We went back to D Mall for dinner and our chosen restaurant was I Love BBQ Kitchen. Food was amazing and servings are big but service needs improvement.

Had my first ever Swedish full body massage in Boracay but it was not a wise thing to do because my body hurt like hell the following days although at that time I was so relaxed I fell asleep in the massage parlor.

Day 3
My sisters and I got up late so we left the resort late in the morning but we were able to get to Kalibo at 1PM. We checked in again at Center Parkway Pension House since it was already convenient, and left for New Washinton to visit the Sampaguita Gardens where we had our late lunch soon afterwards. Multicab fare from Kalibo town is P15 per person.

Because of Typhoon Yolanda, there was not much to see in Sampaguita Gardens. A percentage was damaged but renovations are taking place. Still, it's nice to walk around see curios everywhere. The collection of Precious Moments dolls should not be missed.

Since we still have much time left, we hired a tricycle to take us to two churches, one farther away from Sampaguita Gardens (Pink Sisters Convent) and one just in front of the town plaza in New Washington (Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Parish Church). What makes the Pink Sisters Convent Chapel special is that the large side windows are made of stained glass of the 12 disciples. Across New Washington Church is a plaza with a statue of Cardinal Sin.

We headed back to Kalibo via multicab and went to Gaisano Mall to buy pasalubong and to have dinner at Ted's. Happy to see a Booksale branch there where I saw a copy of Paul Auster's "Moon Palace", that compelling existential novel which inspired me to write about my field experience three years ago.

Lights out early because of our 5AM flight the next day.

Day 4
Got up at 3AM and did quick preparations. We were at the airport at 3:45AM, still sleepy. Headed straight to the office whereas my sisters headed for home.

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This took me two days to compose because I was having laptop problems mainly because Google Chrome kept on hanging and freezing. Problem solved when I uninstalled and reinstalled it. And I almost panicked because my laptop is less than a year old under my care.

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I would like to thank the staff of Jony's Resort, most especially to Ms. Khaye, for their warm welcome and for our wonderful stay there. I will surely be back. 

January

January is coming to an end and I have yet to add anything other than what I did in December last year. 2014 started with a personal vow not to wish for the usual things I ask for, so I can give my heart a rest and stop expecting things to get better. 2013 ended with a promise to focus on the self and continue to reconnect with people whom I care for.

Reading my diary entries in highschool and early college years made me aware of how much I changed. I didn't realize the big change in me all these years, always thinking that I remained the same. But comparing my erstwhile angry, furious, self-centered writings to those at present, I can say that I have definitely become more compassionate and more tolerant of other people.

Perhaps, reading more about Buddhism and visiting Buddhist temples struck something in me. That life is illusory and empty used to be only a theory, but now a principle I hold, so I try to create meaning for myself in this world of constant change, to help me cope with my daily existential grievances. Pain is a passing illusion and relief is always just around the corner. Just be patient, I always tell myself. Perhaps my daily engagement with the very inefficient transportation system here somehow changed me a great deal. To escape great discomfort, I allowed my mind to wander aimlessly and come to myself when I am about to get off the train. No-mind practicing at its best.

Back from my first IPPA (Indo-Pacific Prehistory Association) Congress, held this year in Siem Reap, Cambodia from January 12-18, I was left utterly stunned and restless from all the amazing things I learned about archaeology in different parts of the world, more so about methods in archaeological science, a field I want to specialize in because however it is difficult to admit, I realized I love lab work more than the field.

I wanted to write so badly about Cambodia, but I didn't know where to begin. On cold nights when you feel too lazy to do things, I couldn't even look at the pictures I took for fear that I might just stare for hours on end hoping for muses to visit me so I could begin to write. It seemed like a dream. Yesterday's dream. I used to think that I would certainly cry when I walk on the grounds of Angkor Wat and touch the ancient temples' walls. When I was there, I only stood, overwhelmed, breathless, aiming to breathe in all the memories, wishing for time to stop so I could spend more time recording, touching, investigating. Now back in Manila, it felt surreal, like a beautiful dream you didn't want to wake up from.

Just four days after my return, my sisters and I flew to Boracay for that much-needed getaway. Boracay was never on my bucket list of places to go to, because of my perceived notion that the island is already very much commercialized. Indeed it is, but it was there where I found the finest white beach sand yet. My feet happily tread on the beach, sometimes deliberately burrowing deep to wallow in the creamy sand-saltwater mixture. And the winds! How they blew! The sunset blocked by hundreds of paraws... The lights at night, the blue sky... There is more than one reason to go back.

Just got back from Boracay this Monday and headed straight to work despite feeling extra sleepy and tired. But it's all so worth it.

Now if only I can start writing about my recent travels....

December

The last month of the year 2013 was spent without any travel to far away place. My officemates and I had planned to spend Christmas eve in Pangasinan but it did not push through. And we had planned to spend our first Christmas eve away from our families and in an island where we would camp and cook our own food.

December is one month I dread the most. I always get depressed on the last few days of November which usually lasts until the early part of January. I dread my birthday. I dread Christmas. I dread New Year's Eve. Maybe it's because my mind always withdraws back to the past, waxing nostalgic about my childhood, my highschool life (which I considered the happiest phase of my life because of my innocence and naiveté), my fall-after-enlightenment in college, my turbulent post-college years... The last days of November would always urge me to open my diaries, where I recorded most of my teenage years. It's both amazing and weird at the same time how I was able to write that much back then and how I even had the time to record SMS to me by people who mattered a lot then. And I am thankful that the younger me was that addicted to keep memories for posterity's sake so it's easier to see where I went wrong in some aspects of my life.

December 2013's important highlights:
1. Lots of food trips but the ones I enjoyed most were the ones with my highschool friends and the one with my ex-officemates. I'm glad to be reconnecting with those people. It's very seldom when I meet people whom I truly care for. (Being nice to everyone doesn't mean I truly care for everyone.)

2. I won a scholarship to a learning institution and might be studying again anytime soon but there are no definite plans yet.

3. Attended Handel's "Messiah": A Christmas Concert at UP Theater and was treated to a night full of wonderful music. I especially loved the UP Madrigal Singers for their extraordinary skills in mimicking animal sounds. Really wow! (On the downside, I was reminded of how I was discouraged to continue my music lessons... I could have been a musician... Boo!)

4. Shopped for clothes. The last time I did so was in December of 2012. I very rarely shop unless needed. My wardrobe looks pitiful compared to my sisters'. Also, that day was another sisterly date. I just love eating out with my sisters (coz they're always the ones to foot the bill...)

5. First time to interact with the Heritage Conservation Society-Youth (HCS-Y). I found the people really knowledgeable and very friendly. I might consider volunteering more. The project was to tour students from UP Visayas who are currently staying in UP Diliman following the disasters in the region. We visited Fort Santiago, Manila Cathedral, San Agustin, Manila Collectibles, Casa Manila, and National Museum Art Gallery.

6. Disposed a lot of useless things from the shelves in our bedroom. Less trash, more useful space, which means, I can finally have space for my books. (Don't tell my sisters!!!)

Hot Christmas

This year's Christmas feels different. Everybody was complaining of the unusual heat. Previous years saw me sporting jackets whenever we attend the misa de gallo but this year, I wore sleeveless tops most of the time because of the unbearable heat. Cold winds rose only a few days after Christmas, leaving me too weak to get up from bed. Turned out I was on the verge of suffering a viral attack. Good thing I still found the strength to make my own hot calamansi juice. And quickly consumed a number of ponkan and kiat kiat for added Vitamin C. Getting sick during the holidays suck coz one won't be able to eat as much. (Though on second thought maybe I should welcome that to make sure I don't gain weight... LOL)

Compared to Christmases the previous years, this year's Christmas seems to pass by without much ceremony so in a way I was happier. I just hate the commercialization of the holidays. I hate Christmas dinners (except at home of course) and not to mention silly exchange gifts, most especially since there are still those who buy stuffs which are pretty useless and just eat up space. I'd rather have food anytime rather than receive something I can't use. Better yet, I love Christmas cards and long letters. Group messages through Facebook and SMS are the norm now, which is sad. I've seen 18th-19th century letters and these are always full wise words, not to mention beautiful prose. We in this digital age have lost the art of writing beautifully. Sigh!

I remember way back in highschool when I tried to revive this old-fashioned custom, being quite the old-fashioned girl that I am who seem stuck in the Romantic Age. Not a week passes by without me sending letters to my close friends. And when December creeps in, I kept myself busy composing letters for my friends, each personalized, with real messages from me to them. But of course, the main point is wishing them happy holidays and to ask them to forget me not. Some would return the favor so I have accumulated quite a stack of letters. (Most are just about crushes with code names so reading them now transported me back to the time when I was a giddy highschool girl, always falling in and out of love, getting rejected and rejecting in turn. So I am reminded again of Honey and Clover, one of the two shoujo animé that I really liked for its realistic portrayals of characters in search of love and their own selves...)