I remember confessing my feelings in public. I never thought you'd read it. Yes, that was so silly of me. I'm just a silly little girl after all.
That confession was just one of the many confessions I've made. The only difference is that it was not exclusively for your eyes, and I did lie a little, just so I wouldn't lose face.
But you have to know that deep inside I still have a crush on you. I don't know you at all, except for some tidbits about your life that I gather from the internet. I have to have the prudence not to believe everything you say because you are just one of the innumerable netizens who could be posing a different identity online. But you know what? I find that I can trust you. It's weird, illogical in fact, but when feelings do enter the arena, everything becomes different.
I have to say that I am greatly bothered when you said you have a crush. Like the silly girl that I am, I wished it were me. I BELIEVED it was me. and up until now, I still do think it IS me. Wishful thinking. I don't know what you'll say if ever you chance up on this stupid entry. I just can't help but find an outlet in posting my feelings.
Lately, all I ever thought about was you. Like how you walk, how you laugh, do you ever cry? What makes you tick? What makes you sad? I'd like to know more about you. But sadly you're not like the others at all. Perhaps that's one of the things I like about you. You're being secretive about personal matters that is.
Like many of my past crushes, you are the object of both my adoration and hostile feelings. I really really want to tell you "I hate you!!!". But I guess you'll just dismiss it as just another silly statement from a silly little girl. What's difficult is telling you I still like you, that I have always liked you, in fact, ever since the first say we "met".
People may ridicule you or find you nasty or brash but for me, you're a gentleman. Or maybe it's because you've never been rude with me before? Well you were, when you snubbed me lots of times. You are so damn annoying at times, you know that? And I want to punch you. But you're on the other side of the world. How can I possibly track you down?
I really have to wake up from this unintelligible nightmare. Imagine crushing on someone whom you haven't seen nor met before. It's so absurd, and so silly. At the same time, there's a romantic touch, something that reason will find unacceptable.
If you like me, will you please just let me know? I'm tired of all the games. I just want a definite answer.
for everyone
No comments:
Post a Comment