Lately, all I've ever been thinking about is graduation. I am excited, nervous and anxious all at the same time. Thoughts of those old dusty books stacked away inside the lonely archives in the library fill me with sadness. It's such a pity I only discovered it last semester. Had I done so earlier, I could have read many old books. If there's one thing I'll miss, it'll definitely be the libraries--- CAL and the Main lib, most especially.
The biggest thing, though, that bothers me now, is how i shall fare after graduation. These past few days, I've been pondering on many matters, like how mediocre I am, how wild and reckless and oh so boring.
Here's a list I made---things I should/ must do before graduation.
Before I graduate, I must...
1. learn how to write well.
Coz really, everything I've written so far just sucks. I didn't know how I was able to win in essay-writing contests when I was in HS. In college, I bluffed my way when writing supposedly scholarly papers. Mayhaps I rested on my laurels for long. It's my fault, for getting too intoxicated after winning that Quintin Yuyitung Journalism Award. Now, it doesn't at all mean anything to me, seeing how sloppy and slipshod my writings turned out to be after HS. Obviously, I lack cadence, I lack a style that I can proudly call my own.
2. learn how to argue well.
I've often saw myself as the living paradox. But in arguments, my being highly paradoxical certainly doesn't offer much help. It only gives way to confusion and many people actually think I'm some sort of retard. And going with this, I must learn how to express my ideas in a coherent manner.
3. learn to control my mannerisms
People who know me can attest to my having a plethora of weird mannerisms especially when confronted by nerve-wracking situations. Sometimes, those are just unnecessary gestures. I must, at all cost, put a stop to all those. Surely, I must build my confidence.
4. learn good manners
People often find me ill-mannered. It's just that I reject all sorts of formality. It's not a valid excuse, I know, but it's so hard for me to enter a world of rigidity and stiffness, being much more accustomed to be wild and free. I might as well call myself a noble savage haha! Having refined tastes certainly doesn't translate to having refined manners. I might as well learn how to be more lady-like so that, together with my refined tastes, people will soon look up to me as a model.
(But really, who cares for such stupidities???? Damn it, it's not a agreeable place, this world of ours!)
5. go on a food trip in UPD
I have always been a miserly person, I admit. I very seldom buy food in the cafeterias because I am of the opinion that food there are overpriced. I bring my own food, and so I don't have any idea what the food is like in the cafes. There are instances, of course, wherein I am forced to purchase food in school. (Like when a terrible hunger conquers my stomach....) And so, I MUST have a taste of ALL the eateries in UPD!!!
6. establish friendly rapports with profs
And I do not mean here ALL profs. Only those who share the same values as I do. I'm afraid, I'm too shy and too easily intimidated to approach profs though. T.T
7. buy a book written by a UP prof and have it signed by him or her
In my almost four years of stay in UP, I only have one book with an autograph of the author. And that one book was a required reading in a class. I can't say that I enjoyed it thoroughly. But it did inspire me a bit.
That's all for now. And one more thing, I MUST START PAYING ATTENTION TO MY THESIS. I'm in a hiatus now, I haven't even discussed anything with my thesis adviser!!!!
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